ever truly understood him.
Even though she knew that Grace had to see the video on her own, Deira was worried about how the older woman would react to whatever it was the professor had to say. Despite Grace’s outward calmness and self-assurance, Deira knew she’d been jolted by the realisation that her late husband had left her a video message, and she hoped that whatever he had to say was warm and loving and would allow Grace to move on with her life.
We’re like two injured soldiers, Deira thought. Limping along and telling each other that we’re OK, but feeling deep down we’re probably not. She rubbed her bruised ribs, then cradled her arms across her stomach and closed her eyes, thinking of Gavin and Afton and of the baby they were going to have together. Once again she was almost overwhelmed by the unfairness of it all.
What had happened to Grace was unfair too, she thought, but at least she hadn’t had a wasted life. However things had turned out for her husband, she’d still created a family for herself. She had three children and a grandson. She’d built a legacy. Deira had built nothing. And now she had nobody.
Her phone beeped and she picked it up. Well, not nobody, she thought as she saw that a call from Gillian had gone straight to her voicemail. Gill was a part of her life. A part she couldn’t get rid of. She hit return call.
‘Oh!’ Gillian answered almost straight away. ‘I left you a message.’
‘I didn’t get it,’ said Deira. ‘I rang you back straight away.’ Like an obedient child, she thought. Because she always rang Gillian back.
‘I was updating you on the Bex situation,’ Gillian said.
‘There’s a situation?’
‘You know what I mean.’ Gillian sounded irritated. ‘With her interview.’
‘How did it go?’ asked Deira.
‘They’ve given her a callback to come to another one on Thursday.’
‘What day is it today?’ As a result of the travelling and the fire and the treasure hunting, Deira had completely lost track of time.
‘Monday, you idiot,’ said Gillian.
‘So . . . you’re basically saying that you’re staying in my house till the end of the week?’
‘Well, the girls are,’ Gillian told her. ‘I have to go back to Galway tomorrow. I have other children to look after, you know.’
Deira remained silent in the face of her sister’s implicit suggestion that she would never understand the kind of responsibilities that being a mother entailed. Whenever Gill commented on Deira’s childless state (and she did, quite often), she’d remark that it must be lovely to live the kind of life where you never had to think of anyone else, where you could do whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted. A bit selfish, mind you, she’d add. And of course you’d never know the sheer joy and love that being a mother brought. You’d always miss out on that. But still, if being able to do your own thing was what you wanted, Deira certainly had it made. And then she’d smile the smile of someone who believed that they had reached a level of fulfilment that Deira never would. And who basked in that fact.
Deira had never told Gill about wanting to have a child. She’d once said that it was something she and Gavin were considering, but when it hadn’t happened, she allowed Gill to assume that they’d dismissed the idea. Deira had been unable to tell her that it was Gavin who’d dismissed it and that she’d acquiesced. She didn’t want her sister to pity her.
That was why she hadn’t been able to say anything about his new girlfriend’s pregnancy. She felt bad enough about it without having to take on the weight of Gill’s inevitable rush to judgement. And, perhaps, her belief that Deira was only getting what she deserved.
Because when Deira had first told her that she was moving in with Gavin Boyer, Gill had been horrified.
‘He’s a married man!’ she’d exclaimed. ‘With a young family. And he’s seventeen years older than you. What the hell were you thinking getting involved with him in the first place?’
‘I didn’t plan it,’ said Deira. ‘But when we started working together, we . . . we clicked. He’s my soulmate. He’s everything I ever wanted.’
‘He’s married!’ repeated Gill. ‘Is that what you want?’
‘His relationship with his wife has been on the rocks for years.’ Deira supposed that this was what most married men embarking on an affair said, but in Gavin’s case it was true. He’d