talking about marking new beginnings (tautology, Ken said, and when Aline asked what he meant, he told her to look it up. On Google, if it makes you feel better, he added). But even if their tastes in books and poetry differed, Aline and Ken were more like each other than they knew, mused Grace. Both of them brimming with self-confidence, both of them believing their way was the right way. Neither of them thinking of the consequences of their actions on other people, always expecting they’d fall into line.
‘I care about you.’ Aline broke into her thoughts. ‘We all do. We don’t want anything to happen to you.’
‘Things happen all the time,’ said Grace, which elicited an even more shocked expression from Aline. ‘But I’ll be fine. I’m more worried about you guys, to be honest.’
‘It’s been really hard, but I’ve dealt with it,’ said Aline. ‘So have Fionn and Regan. I’m not sure you have, Mum.’
‘I have. Honestly,’ Grace lied.
‘I’d be happier if Elaine was going with you.’ Aline wasn’t at all convinced by her mother’s words.
‘So would I,’ said Grace, although that was probably a lie too. ‘But she has other priorities. I’ll be fine. Anyhow,’ she added, ‘I’ll FaceTime you from all my destinations and let you know how it’s going. You can keep me up to date too.’
‘I guess so.’
‘I’ll be fine,’ said Grace again.
She wasn’t going to tell her daughter that there was a part of her that wanted to do the trip by herself. Aline would have been even more hurt by that. And, like the rest of them, she’d been hurt enough already. But since Grace had decided to make this journey, nobody was going to stop her. Despite some initial misgivings, she was looking forward to driving off the ferry in France and doing her own thing, as much as she could given the schedule he’d laid out for her and the requests he’d made.
‘You couldn’t simply leave it,’ she murmured. ‘You still have to organise me.’
She’d never acknowledged before how much Ken’s desire to be in charge bothered her. Especially his determination to plan their holidays. Her own working life had been ruled by timetables and plans, which should have made it a pleasure, really, to leave the arrangements to him. But he never chose to fly to a destination. On a plane, she would inevitably have known more than him. She’d been a senior cabin crew member after all. She could have made things easier for them. But he didn’t want her to. She knew nothing about ferries.
However, despite the stress he brought to it, Ken had been good at organising holidays. The children loved taking the ferry and the freedom of the campsites in France. They loved the excitement of living in a tent, and later, in a mobile home, enjoying the basic nature of it. So despite occasionally feeling aggrieved at her lack of input, Grace went with the flow.
She’d always been good at going with the flow.
Now she walked into the colourful garden of the guest house and gazed out over the ocean. The sun was higher in the sky and had turned the sea to a deep azure blue. It was a perfect day for the crossing. A perfect day to travel.
Chapter 3
Dublin to Ringaskiddy: 268 km
Deira didn’t stop on her journey from Dublin to Ringaskiddy, and as soon as she arrived at the port she joined the queue of vehicles waiting to board. Embarkation had been under way for the past hour, but there were still quite a number of travellers ahead of her. From the vantage point of her car she could see people already walking around the upper deck of the boat, bright specks of colour against the white ship.
She allowed herself a sigh of relief as she handed over her ticket and was waved forward. Deep down, she’d half expected to be stopped and hauled off to be interviewed by the Gardaí. But the port officials clearly hadn’t been alerted, and the other travellers were far too concerned about boarding the ferry to even notice her; although the male drivers of the heavily laden cars, camper vans and SUVs surrounding her occasionally shot envious glances at the low-profile convertible.
When she was safely parked, she made her way to the passenger deck, not bothering with the lifts, where families with children, babies, bags and buggies, were waiting, but taking the stairs instead. By the time she reached Deck 8, she was regretting