in a mess with Charlie,’ said Deira. ‘Or, being honest, it was listening to my damn hormones! There’s a part of me that thinks I want a child because I’m supposed to want a child. And another part of me that longs for a baby of my own to hold. But is that just the same as me wishing my mother had bought me the same doll that she bought Gill when we were kids? I honestly don’t know. And I don’t have the time to think about it, because every second of every day my few remaining eggs are becoming more and more fragile.’
‘I wish I could advise you.’ Grace’s words were heartfelt. ‘I know that my children are my greatest achievement,’ she continued, ‘but sometimes I wonder if I lived some of my life through them instead of doing things for myself. I invested all of my own dreams in them, you know. I chose to be the best wife and mother I could be, but I wasn’t always happy about it. I comforted myself with the achievements of my husband and my children. And yet doing this trip on my own – or at least with you – has made me wish that I’d done more things for myself and by myself when I was younger.’ She gave Deira a rueful look. ‘Maybe no matter what we do in life we look back and think things could have been better. Or different. Or that we should’ve chosen another path.’
‘Do you wish that?’ asked Deira.
‘From time to time,’ admitted Grace. ‘Oh, I wouldn’t change my kids for the world, but from where I am now, I wouldn’t have been as flattered as I was that Ken wanted to marry me, and I wouldn’t have believed myself so unworthy that I had to accept the first man who came along and asked me.’
‘Do we ever get it right?’ wondered Deira.
‘We never get everything right,’ said Grace. ‘But we can adapt. We have to.’
The two women were contemplating each other’s words in silence when Duncan Anderson walked over to their table, a wide smile on his face.
‘You came,’ he said to Grace. ‘It’s lovely to see you.’
Deira looked from one to the other.
‘How could I not?’ said Grace. ‘I’m only a short walk away.’
‘Did you enjoy your meal?’
‘Delicious,’ she assured him. ‘Duncan, this is my friend Deira.’
‘Pleased to meet you.’ He smiled at her and then asked both of them if they’d like dessert.
‘I couldn’t manage it,’ said Grace. ‘But coffee, please. A decaf Americano.’
‘Same for me,’ said Deira.
‘Right away.’ Duncan went to get the coffees.
‘I thought you said it was your first time here,’ said Deira. ‘But you seem to know him well.’
‘It is,’ said Grace. ‘Oddly, I met him in Toledo and I couldn’t believe the coincidence in him living near me. We got chatting that night you stayed in your room. I thought it would be nice to check out his restaurant.’
Deira gave her a speculative look as she commented that Duncan had seemed very pleased to see her.
‘Of course he was,’ said Grace. ‘All the restaurant owners make a fuss of their regular customers.’
‘But you’re not a regular customer,’ Deira reminded her.
‘Well, no. But I’m sure he hopes I will be.’
‘Ah, a customer. You think that’s all he’s hoping for?’ Deira raised an eyebrow.
‘I’m sure it is.’ Grace felt the colour rise in her cheeks. ‘I just thought—’ She broke off as Duncan came back and placed the coffees in front of them.
‘There’s chemistry,’ said Deira when he had gone. ‘I can feel it.’
‘You’re being silly.’
‘No,’ said Deira. ‘I’m not.’
When they asked for the bill and Duncan told them the meal was on the house, she gave Grace another pointed look that the older woman studiously ignored. And when Duncan gave them a double-cheek kiss in farewell, she noticed that he lingered slightly longer than necessary with Grace.
‘I like him,’ said Grace defensively when they were having a drink on the balcony later that night. ‘But that’s as far as it goes. I’m not looking for a replacement husband, Deira. No matter what you might think.’
Deira said nothing.
But she smiled into the darkness.
Chapter 34
Cartagena to Dublin: 2,729 km
She still hadn’t driven through Paris in a sports car with the warm wind in her hair, thought Deira as she stepped off the plane at Dublin airport into a gusting wind and temperatures ten degrees lower than the south of Spain. But that didn’t matter. She’d get around