all those years ago. I wanted to tell her she was the strongest person I knew, both in the past and now. But I had to remain silent to keep my secret and respect her wishes.
“I realize you don’t know a lot of people in OB yet,” she said softly. “I feel bad about that. But you have the guys in the band.”
She glanced away, staring at the ocean as I stared at her. When she returned her gaze to me, her expression had changed.
“And you’re not completely without other opportunities for companionship.”
“Meaning what?”
She twisted her hands together, saying softly, “You already made an impression on Tess.”
“Who?” I asked, having absolutely no clue who she was talking about.
“The waitress at the Deck Bar. The blonde. The one who gave you her phone number.”
“Oh, her.” Recognition dawned slowly. Recognition, yes, but absolutely no interest.
“She’s nice.” Lotus swallowed, her eyes a bright umber.
Realizing what Lotus was trying to do pissed me off, but I called her bluff. “I’ll give her a call. If you’re sure this is the way you want it to be between us.”
Lotus bobbed her head. “It’s the way it has to be.”
Has to be?
Although I bit my tongue, mentally I called bullshit on her response. Homing in on her word choice, I grabbed it like a life preserver thrown into an unsettled sea.
Has to be didn’t have fuck-all to do with wants or needs.
Lotus
I WAS SHAKY and felt sick, but I knew I’d done the right thing with Journey. He didn’t do relationships, and I didn’t do hookups.
Not usually.
And because nothing about me and him was usual, and since I couldn’t trust myself around him, not being alone with him was my only option.
“Hey, Penny,” I said to the receptionist as I stepped into Outside. She looked up from her computer screen and peered at me over the top of a cute pair of lime-green reading glasses. “New haircut,” I asked, noting the bobbed length.
“Yeah.” She reached up and plumped the curled ends. “Platinum color’s new too, like Holliewood’s. Cool, don’t you think?”
“The style and the color are very Doris Day,” I said, knowing Penny loved everything from the fifties.
“Exactly.” Both her smile and her hazel eyes gleamed. “I could do something like it with your hair.”
“No, that’s okay,” I said. “I like my color, and the longer length works for me for now.”
Penny Stein cut hair on the side at the Velvet Hair Salon. She rented a chair, but I knew she was saving up to have her own place one day. Sophia, Penny, and I all had ambitious dreams.
“A trim then.” She winked. “Let me get my hands on that gorgeous hair of yours. Please.”
“Okay. As soon as I have some spare time.”
She wrinkled her button nose. “You never have spare time.”
“Yeah, I know.”
I’d had some today, and it had been wonderful. But I knew the wonderful part had a lot to do with Journey. And on that thought, my nausea returned.
“I’ll call you,” I told Penny. “Set something up. We could make it girl time, if you wanted to hang, and I could get Sophia to come too.”
“Absolutely.”
“I, um . . . I can’t pay you for a trim what you get at Velvet.”
Penny gave me a knowing grin. “Can you whip me up one of your famous pineapple margaritas?”
“I could,” I said, remembering that she was twenty-one now and old enough to drink. “I could make a whole pitcher for us to share.”
“We can talk about guys and watch classic movies for inspiration for hairstyles.”
“Sophia loves movies. I love music. Maybe we could meet in the middle and look at some rock documentaries about bands in your favorite era.”
“Ones with hot musicians like the ones that walk around here?” She fluttered her heavily mascaraed eyes and sighed. “Sounds heavenly.”
“Sold.” I hooked a thumb to the hallway. “I’d better get a move on.”
“Saber’s in studio ten.”
“Thanks.”
“Shield too. The boss is with them.”
“’Kay.” I lifted a finger in the air and headed down the hall. The studio was more crowded today.
I saw Linc and Simone in studio one, working on a duet for another Blaine Donovan film.
Diesel was in studio three, his back to the door but visible through the glass insert. He was at the piano, probably writing the score for a new film.
A little farther down, Ramon was in studio five with the band Freewave. He often gave the local OB band creative direction.
Apparently, all the Dirt Dogs were in residence today, working on