was tempted to bring it to my nose to inhale his incredible scent one last time.
Feeling weaker than I wanted to be, I popped open the door. Journey stood just outside it. At the sight of him, I was sure my emotions were visible all over my face. Exiting his bathroom the second time wasn’t at all like the first. There was no warmth in his expression, only ice.
“C’mon,” he said, jerking his chin up.
Turning, he stomped across the room. He had on his boots and jeans. Only now, he wore a blue muscle tee that of course looked amazing on him. Giving me a narrow-eyed look, he jingled his keys in his hand.
I glanced at the bed as I scurried to join him. Warmth burned my cheeks at the memory of what we’d done and how good it had been. But though I looked, I didn’t see my pink panties anywhere.
He yanked open the door, his biceps flexing, the ink swirls on his skin spinning like my emotions, as he propped open the door with his arm. I told myself not to read anything into his holding the door open for me and shuffled through the narrow space he provided. His warmth and his scent washed over me, making me tremble with renewed desire. But a quick glance at his face revealed nothing except icy neutrality.
It’s over, Lotus. Done. Let it go.
The upside? I would never see him again. But that thought didn’t comfort me like it should. It only struck me with more longing, too strong a reaction considering I’d only just met him.
Distracted, I stumbled on the way to the Scout. Ahead of me, Journey didn’t notice. I was steadier by the time he unlocked the passenger door. I hurried toward it, but he didn’t open it for me like he had before. Swallowing the bitter sting of more rejection, I opened the door myself and climbed in.
He moved around the back of the vehicle. I kept my gaze ahead, buckling my seat belt with trembling hands. I just needed to change my expectations.
I’d had amazing sex. I wasn’t thinking of Saber anymore. I was moving on.
It doesn’t matter what Journey thinks about me.
But it did.
Journey started the engine and backed out of the driveway without putting his arm across the back of my seat like before. I told myself not feeling the warmth of his touch wasn’t a loss.
But that was only another lie.
As he drove, I stared out my side of the vehicle, clutching my bag to my chest and reeling emotionally. Sadly, too little of my reeling was regret. His heat was palpable. The fresh aquatic scent of him penetrated my resolve, a too-thin house of straw where I’d ducked inside.
I turned away from him, staring at the scenery instead. We drove past the same businesses on the main thoroughfare of Manhattan Beach again. The darkness was lighter than it had been before. With green lights along the way, those businesses were soon behind us.
Could I as quickly put this encounter with Journey behind me?
I knew the answer to that question before I posed it.
Everything about this night was etched in my memory. Like an ink stain on a treasured blouse, the end was the only part I wanted to forget. And I knew no amount of mental scrubbing could wash any of it out.
I let out a resigned sigh as Journey steered the vehicle onto the freeway entrance ramp. At the higher speed, the wind whipped tears into my eyes that I couldn’t hold back and would no longer have to explain. The popular multilane interstate was nearly empty. But I concentrated on the concrete barrier and the shadowy buildings visible in the distance, as if I were going to be graded on my recollection of the details later.
“I recommend not telling your . . . boyfriend about this.”
I startled. Journey had been silent so long, I’d forgotten how appealing his voice was. Even now, it resonated at the perfect frequency to melt me.
I swallowed hard, gripping my bag tighter. “I don’t care what you recommend.”
He flinched. “Maybe not.” His dark brown brows inched together. “But you should.”
“Don’t bother speaking to me. It’s a waste of your breath.”
I stiffened as he made the final turn into the hotel parking lot. I’d dreaded the drive, but it ended too quickly.
“I told you up front what this was.” His whiskered jaw visibly tight, he steered into an empty space at the hotel entrance and yanked