fell against her like somebody had suddenly dropped a mountain on her shoulders, and she couldn’t hold it up on her own.
“I want to see him,” Alex said quietly. He wasn’t giving Helen any room for argument. He’d be damned if he asked her for permission to visit the love of his life.
Noah’s hospital room was quiet when Alex entered. Early morning light peeked through the blinds, but the room was still dim. Alex stepped closer, trying to make as little sound as possible.
Noah was sleeping. There was a big bruise on his forehead. He was really pale, and Alex could see numerous scrapes and smaller cuts on his body. He forced himself to move until he was next to the bed. Relief at seeing Noah made his body feel like it was filled with lead. Every limb seemed to be weighed down, almost as if gravity had doubled over the course of the last two minutes.
Alex took a seat in the chair next to Noah’s bed. For a moment, he just looked, taking in Noah’s face, checking over every line and curve, documenting every visible injury down to the smallest of marks and wounds.
He took Noah’s hand in his and slid his fingers over the warm skin. Then and only then, with Noah’s hand in his palm, Alex let the whole ordeal hit him. He was quiet, mindful not to disturb Noah’s sleep, but silent tears kept running down his face, and Alex was unable to stop them.
Alex’s head snapped up when Noah’s thumb suddenly slid over the side of Alex’s hand.
“You’re here.” Noah’s hoarse whisper was the best sound Alex had ever heard.
Alex wanted to tell Noah hundreds of different things. How much he loved Noah. How he’d always be there for Noah. How scared Alex had been. How the past didn’t matter because Alex trusted Noah. But in the end, all he managed was a nod.
“I’m sorry,” Noah mumbled, eyes already closed again.
“Shh,” Alex whispered. “Just rest.” He pressed a kiss to Noah’s forehead, but when he started to pull away, Noah’s fingers clutched Alex’s hand with surprising force.
“Don’t leave me.”
“I’ll stay right here,” Alex promised, “and tackle everybody who tries to move me.”
A weak smile lifted the corners of Noah’s lips.
“Love you,” he muttered before nodding off again.
Alex woke the next morning to Noah caressing his cheek. He turned his head to the side and was met by Noah’s soft smile as the man slid his thumb against Alex’s lower lip and kept it there. They didn’t speak for a long time. It was enough just being together. Noah’s touch erased at least some of Alex’s agitation and fear.
The last twenty-four hours were a haze in Alex’s mind. He’d spent most of it by Noah’s bed, watching him sleep. Occasionally, Helen was in the room, but they both ignored each other. A nurse had been by every hour or so, but they seemed to think letting Noah sleep was the best course of action. Alex had fallen asleep sometime in the early hours of the morning.
“I’m guessing my plan to be home in two hours fell through?” Noah eventually said.
“Kind of.”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“I was supposed to keep my word to make you trust me again,” Noah said softly.
Alex straightened himself and regretted it immediately when Noah winced as his hand dropped down on the bed.
“Fuck! Sorry,” Alex said, jumping up from his seat and backing away.
“It’s all right,” Noah hurried to reassure him. “Really. Just… moving hurts.”
“Do you need me to call the nurse?” Alex’s head whipped left and right as he looked around the room, trying to find something—anything—that would make Noah more comfortable and could take away his pain.
“It’s fine. Sit back down. I’m sure somebody will be by soon.”
Alex settled back in and gently covered Noah’s hand with his palm, caressing the back of Noah’s hand with his thumb. “How are you feeling?”
“Like shit.”
Alex smiled. “Very succinct.”
“It feels like somebody dropped an elephant on my head.”
“Your mom told me you have a concussion.”
“That explains the pain, then.”
Alex kept running his thumb over Noah’s skin, assuring himself of Noah’s presence. “Do you remember anything about the accident?” Even thinking about it made Alex’s skin clammy and heart beat too loud.
All this time, he’d been worried about Noah dumping him. It hadn’t even occurred to Alex how tenuous the grasp on life was, and how there were numerous other ways Noah could disappear from his life again. He tried to smother those thoughts as best