resentful instead of being grateful.
He was bored. Bored of idly sitting around. Bored of feeling like a burden. Bored of being afraid Alex would have enough of playing nursemaid for Noah and would just leave, even if there were no signs that Alex planned to do that.
Instead, he was endlessly patient throughout the weeks that followed Noah’s accident. Alex drove Noah to his doctor’s appointments and helped him with all the everyday tasks. He cooked for him and helped him shower, and in those first days, right after the accident, he even brushed Noah’s teeth when it became clear that moving his arm was too painful. That, of course, made Noah so grateful that he felt like crying, and in a blink of an eye, he was pissed off because he should have been able to handle basic hygiene procedures.
Alex massaged Noah’s head when it felt like somebody had stuck a wire in his nostril and was trying to pull his brain out through his nose. He read to Noah, both the latest bestsellers and veterinary science articles. He made playlists for Noah because listening to music was practically the only way to pass the time that Noah could handle.
Alex was there, in Noah’s apartment, taking care of Noah day in and day out, and Noah had fallen even more in love with him than he had been before, but at the same time, he was scared to death Alex would just disappear one day because the man had not signed up for any of this.
It took another two weeks for the headaches to slowly start easing up and a couple more for Noah’s shoulder to be declared healed. By then, the headaches were mainly gone, only occurring when Noah overdid it with reading or looked at any type of screen for over five minutes. He’d learned that lesson the hard way one Wednesday morning when a simple email took thirty minutes to write and came hand in hand with a vicious headache that plagued Noah for the remainder of the day.
Above all, Noah just wanted things to go back to normal, and after almost two months of healing, they should have been heading in that direction. It should have been over. Well, maybe not over, seeing that Noah was still dealing with the consequences, but there should have been some resemblance of life falling back into familiar patterns. That was not the case, though. The better Noah’s health got, the more he noticed how oddly Alex was behaving.
Noah couldn’t even pinpoint the exact moment he realized things were weird between them. It was just a feeling that grew with each passing day. They still talked and laughed and ate together, but days passed, and Noah was starting to feel like they were roommates rather than lovers.
Alex, at his core, was a sensual person. He liked to touch and be touched. Enjoyed the feeling of Noah’s hands on his skin more than anybody Noah had ever met. Alex hid the need well, only revealing it to the people closest to him, which essentially meant Noah, and Noah, in turn, loved being the one Alex chose to indulge that part of himself.
The problem was that as Noah’s health improved, the less Alex seemed to touch him. The casual intimacy was disappearing, and Noah didn’t know how to fix it. Things in the bedroom weren’t much better. Noah had gotten the all clear from his doctor, but every single night, he went to bed alone while Alex stayed in the living room, gaze fixated on his laptop, and in the morning, Alex got up way before Noah and went for a run.
Nothing in their relationship had been smooth sailing, but sex was the one thing that had always been easy. Noah suspected it was largely due to the fact that in their most intimate moments they could leave the outside world firmly locked out. When it was just the two of them, everything was simple because then it was only love.
That easy intimacy had been destroyed. They were both holding back. Alex because he was most likely afraid of Noah’s injuries, and Noah didn’t even know what was wrong with him. He loved Alex more than ever. He wanted Alex just as much as he had before, but he just couldn’t seem to make a move.
Another week passed. The tension in the air grew palpable. More and more often, Alex disappeared for long stretches of time, saying something or other about a