Kyle sitting on the floor. She was tucked between the end of the mattress and my window, a blanket wrapped around her, sleeping on her arms as they rested on her bent knees.
“Hey,” I said, kneeling in front of her. I waited until her eyes opened. “You okay?”
No one was at my place tonight. Ma was probably partying at some other apartment in The Heart, and I’d seen my sister down at the boardwalk with one of the guys she liked to hustle with. Kyle must have used the spare key I kept hidden.
“I’m okay.”
“Come here.” I held out my hand.
When she grabbed it, I lifted her out of the corner and sat her on the bed. She brought the blanket along, tightening it around her.
“I couldn’t fall asleep at home.”
“Too cold?”
She nodded, sleepy-eyed and cute.
I paid our heat bill, but Kyle didn’t make enough to help out with her ma’s bills. If Anthony gave his ma any cash, I was sure she’d spend it on dope rather than making sure their apartment stayed warm. That was the kind of bitch she was. My ma was no better.
But that didn’t matter because I wanted Kyle here anyway. I liked that my place was where she went to get warm and go to sleep.
“Lie down,” I said. “I’ll take the floor.”
She kicked off her shoes and rested her head on the pillow. I sat on the carpet and leaned my back into the side of the bed.
“Is your ma home?” I asked.
“No, she went out before I got home from school.”
“What about Anthony?”
“I haven’t seen him for a few days.”
Kyle’s fridge was always empty. If her ma was home, she’d get Kyle something to eat. But, with her being out, that meant Kyle had skipped dinner. And there was no way the turkey sandwich and apple she’d eaten for lunch would hold her until tomorrow.
“I’ll be right back.”
She grabbed my hand when I tried to stand up. “No, don’t leave. I know you’re going to go get me some food, but I’m not hungry. I just want to talk.” Her eyes pleaded with mine. “So, stay with me and just talk to me, okay?”
“You need to eat, Kyle.”
“I will in a little bit. I promise.”
She let go of my hand, and I sat down again—this time, on the bed right next to where she was lying.
“I’m worried about Billy,” she said, resting her chin on her palm. “He’s using more and more.”
I knew she had noticed. It was impossible not to. But, shit, I didn’t want Kyle to worry about him, too. Billy was my responsibility, and somehow, I’d get him straight.
“He’ll be okay.”
“Are you sure?” She scratched her cheek and down her arm and rubbed around her elbow.
I knew she didn’t itch. Kyle was just fidgeting. She did that sometimes when we were alone together and sitting real close.
“Because I’m not sure he’s going to be okay,” she continued. “He doesn’t just use on the weekends when we’re having fun. He uses before school and right after last period. He’s always high now. And I’ve seen what happens when people use that much. We’re surrounded by it.”
She was talking about the people in The Heart. Her ma. Mine. They’d probably use a hell of a lot more if they could afford it. But she was right about what Billy’s using would eventually lead to, and the sadness in her eyes fucking killed me.
It killed me even more because it was my fault.
“I’ll talk to him, Kyle.”
I had to fix it. I’d already tried. But I’d try again and again until I got our friend back to the way he used to be.
“Okay.”
I could tell there was something else on her mind. She was acting too timid, too restless, for there not to be.
“Tell me what you’re thinking about.” When she didn’t answer, I put my hand over hers to stop it from moving. “Kyle?”
She looked so pretty as she glanced at me. She didn’t have any makeup on. Her hair was a little tangled and messy, and her eyes were puffy from rubbing them when she’d woken up.
“I don’t want to go home.”
She said that to me every time she came to my place. I never once made her leave. But this time felt different; it felt like there was something she wasn’t saying.
I pulled the blanket higher until it wedged under her chin.
When I tried to stand again, she stopped me. “Don’t go.”
“I’m not leaving. I’m just going to