me later to bark about the amount of cash I needed to move. He wouldn’t text me, asking for the daily numbers. He wouldn’t be coming to visit at the first of the month. He would never give me another order again.
He was dead.
Gone.
It was all over with.
I found myself getting out of the car and unlocking the front door, standing in the foyer as my eyes wandered over the inside. Nothing felt like it was mine. None of it felt right. It was as though I’d seen it all before in a magazine, but I hadn’t touched any of it. I hadn’t owned it. I hadn’t felt comfortable around it.
It all reminded me of my brother.
I walked over to the kitchen window and stared out onto the water. The view was beautiful. Serene. Relaxing. So many nights, I had gazed at this scenery and wondered what was next. I had tried to plan for my future, to see past everything Anthony had taken away from me, and to find happiness in the things he had given me.
But I couldn’t.
Anthony had chosen Florida. He had chosen both houses. He had picked the building where the shop was, he had influenced what I was going to sell and what services I would offer, he had chosen the employees who worked there.
It wasn’t mine. It wasn’t even close to mine.
None of it.
And I didn’t love it.
This was my prison.
He was my prison.
But he was gone. There was no one keeping me here anymore. No one was making me stay in Florida. No one was making sure I went to work in the morning.
The bars had been lifted.
So, what the hell was I going to do with my freedom?
I opened a bottle of wine from the fridge and brought it into the bathroom, setting it on the edge of the tub with my phone. I ran the warm water, stripped off all my clothes, and left them in a pile on the floor. Once I added in some bath salts and lit a few candles, I climbed in.
I was still sore. My muscles hadn’t fully healed. The cuts and scrapes and bruises were just starting to lighten from my body. My appetite hadn’t completely returned, and my stomach still had a hard time processing everything I ate. The doctor had assured me that this was all normal. I needed time and things would all gradually return to the way they had been before the accident.
Time was something I had now.
Just as I closed my eyes and tried to shut my brain off, my phone rang from the side of the tub.
“Hey, Garin,” I said as I answered.
“Are you okay?”
“I think so.”
I looked at the bottle of wine that was now half gone. They were sips that I didn’t remember taking, and I couldn’t recall when the candle closest to me had blown out. In the shred of light that was left, I saw the outline of my body in the water. My skin looked so dark, almost dirty.
Dirty like I had been in the dream.
“It has nothing to do with losing Anthony,” I said. I felt like shit for saying that, but it was the truth. After what Anthony had done to me, it was hard to mourn him. Hard to feel anything for him at all. “I just don’t know what to do now. I can’t be here anymore—that, I do know.”
“Come here.”
“To Jersey?”
“No, to Vegas. I’m flying there in the morning. I can come down to Florida and get you, and we can fly there together.”
I sat up quickly, the water splashing over the side of the tub. “You want me…in Vegas?”
“It’s where I live, where I work. So, yeah, it’s where I want you. Come live with me, Kyle.”
He wanted me. He wanted me to live with him. He wanted me there, so I could touch him every day, so I could kiss him whenever I wanted, so I could tell him to his face that I loved him.
I took a deep breath. “Come get me.”
“That was easy.”
“It’s a little late for me to play hard to get since you’ve already had me.” I stepped out of the tub and wrapped myself in a towel. “Besides, I’m done playing, Garin. I want you more than anything. And I want us.”
“You’re going to have it all, everything you’ve ever wanted. I’ll make sure of it. Close your eyes, and get some sleep, baby. I’ll be there when you wake up.”
Forty
Garin
Present Day
“Mmm,”