isn’t safe in Jersey, you’re going to launder it for me. You’re my investment, Kyle. That’s your reward for keeping your mouth shut.” He released my cheek, but the gun stayed close.
“What if I say no?”
“Then, I’ll kill you.”
There was no hesitation in his voice. He said it as though he were announcing the weather forecast. And he looked at me as though I were trash on an already littered sidewalk. He could just point a gun at me and shoot.
His way or death.
It was all so simple for him.
“How am I supposed to face Garin and Billy? How can I act like I don’t know it was you who killed Paulie?”
“Stop being friends with them if you can’t handle it.”
“They’ll know something is wrong—” I cut myself off when I saw his eyes turn rabid.
“Make sure they don’t know.” He glanced down at the gun. “There’s only two people who were able to see inside this stolen car tonight. One of them is dead; the other is you. If anyone finds out about this, if I hear so much as my name whispered, it will be the end of you.”
The end of me…
He might as well have pulled the trigger right then.
Garin and Billy were my whole world. They were all I had. They were my best friends, my family. They kept me safe, fed, clothed.
But there was more.
I loved Garin. Things were going to happen between us. They were about to happen. We were taking it slow, but our relationship was moving forward.
And now?
Now, I had to give that up.
Give everything up.
Give them up.
I looked out the window, at the city outside the glass. Once I stepped out there, things were going to be so different.
They were going to be cold.
Dark.
Lonely.
Every day, I would be ravaged with guilt for not speaking the truth. For allowing Paulie’s murderer to roam the streets, the crime remaining unsolved. For being a coward.
I was no longer Kyle.
I was the person Anthony wanted me to be.
Twenty-Six
Kyle
Plastic—that was all I could taste. My tongue was so dry that it felt like it was made of paper. My teeth were fuzzy, like mold was growing over the enamel. I hoped this prison wouldn’t give me Breath’s teeth, his rotted gums, his rancid breath. I hoped that, whatever damage had been done, I’d be able to recover from it.
Because, maybe one day, I would get out of here. Breath would open the bars, and Garin and I would walk out with…his hand clasped in mine, living the life I’d always wanted.
Why did that thought feel so familiar?
Why was I so groggy?
As I swam through the fog in my brain, it slowly started coming back to me, the very last memory I had. I’d told Breath that Anthony was the murderer…and then everything had turned to black.
Everything was still black. My eyes were closed, my lids feeling much too heavy to open. And there was beeping in my ears. Lots of high-pitched beeping…
Where was it coming from? That noise hadn’t been in our cell before.
But the differences didn’t stop there.
There was softness, too. The wool blanket we’d used as a pillow wasn’t this feathery. It had been hard, cement hard. Our bed was the same, but whatever was underneath me now was cozy, plush, delicate even. And it wasn’t cold in here, like it typically was in our cell. If anything, I was warm. Too warm. Sticky…hot.
It must have been from the needle that Breath had stuck in my neck. Those drugs he gave me always made me feel loopy. Garin had said it took at least a day for the meds to work their way out of my system.
Had it been a day?
A day since—
GARIN.
More memories started to come back to me. Breath had slashed Garin’s entire body. Garin had barely been breathing. He needed help. He needed to go to a hospital. Breath promised he would take him but only if I confessed. Giving him that confession also meant…
“You’ll get the punishment you deserve. Confess and save Garin, or I’m going to kill you both. The choice is yours.”
I’d given him the confession.
Was this death?
Something still beeped not too far from my ear.
“What’s beeping?” The sound of my own voice surprised me. It was hoarse, a little deep. So scratchy.
“Relax, Kyle.”
Relax…Kyle?
I’d heard that voice before. It was the one I’d been hearing since I was put in that cell. It sounded like Garin but up until today it had been a little hazy and muffled.