slump against the cold brick wall, staring aimlessly ahead. It’s odd how much relief I feel that it’s all over. No more deals and corruption, no more hiding in the shadows and watching, but smiling when the lights are on me. No more pretending and playing their game.
Even if I somehow get out of here, I’m done. I’m through with all this shit.
I want more from life. I want a real life. One with Arianna.
Women make men fall to their knees
I wouldn’t change a thing. But now I’m not there for her.
I close my eyes slowly, picturing her sweet smile. Genuine happiness. She gave that to me and I’ll be damned, but I want more.
My eyes open and the vision of her disappears. If only I could go back and somehow hide it. No. I’d need to go back to before. To when he gave her to me. I’d go back then if I could and hire Charles to end him.
I should have. I made so many mistakes, tripping and stumbling all the while my eyes were only on Arianna.
She made me fall, and now I only want to get up for her.
The sound of the large door at the end of the hall opening, snaps me back to the moment.
Several sets of shoes slap against the hard floor as they make their way closer to me.
I stay still, my heart beating slowly and my blood chilling. I know how this all ends, but I can’t help to wish for an out. Someone who owes me, someone I’ve helped in the past who can pull strings. But there’s not a single name I can think of. None connected to Judge Pierce. And I’ve confessed in a room of eyes and ears.
I should have played this smarter, but I couldn’t think. Not with her taking the fall for me.
The warden doesn’t look at me as he slips a key into the lock, opening the large cell door by pulling on the first bar. Behind him are two men.
The first I recognize as my father’s lawyer. Not my own. Nathanael Goldman.
My father’s behind him. Immediately I stand up, rising to meet them. The warden closes the door behind them as anxiety races in my blood. I can hardly look my father in the eyes, but somehow I do. I may have killed Brooks, but he deserved to die.
“I know you didn’t do it.” My father’s voice is full of pride and confidence.
“I did,” I look him in the eyes as I answer. My father’s jaw clenches and he looks to his right, to the lawyer he’s brought with him.
“I didn’t hear anything,” Goldman answers, leaning against the bricked cell wall, with his eyes focused through the bars and on the door at the end of the hall.
I look back to my father, staring into his eyes that reflect disbelief and something else. Disappointment. Never in my life have I seen him look at me like that. I have to tear my eyes away from him. Shame seeping into my blood. My father’s done a lot of wrongs in his life.
But I murdered a man.
“He hit her,” I say the words and my bastard emotions come through, making my voice crack. “He beat her so hard, so violently, she couldn’t even move. There was so much blood.”
“Zander…” my father’s voice is nearly a whisper.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t take it back.” My eyes close tight as I sit back on the bench, the image of her on the floor refusing to leave me.
I jump back at the feel of a strong hand on my shoulder. My eyes fly up to meet my father’s. His eyes are glazed as he nods my head. “I can understand that.”
He starts to sit next to me, but stands tall instead, running a hand down his face. “I just,” he takes in a deep breath, looking at the wall and lowering his head. “I don’t want to believe it,” he says in a low voice.
“I couldn’t help myself,” I tell him as I stare at my hands, feeling the anger pouring out of me as I killed him. Stealing the life from him and making sure he’d never strike her again.
“You’ll never speak of this.” My father turns to face me again, his voice coming in stronger. “Ever. To anyone.”
I stare at him, not understanding. “I can’t lie on the stand,” I tell him.
His brow furrows for a moment and then he shakes his head before he says,