think… I bite down on my thumbnail again, staring aimlessly straight ahead, I think I want to give myself to him.
I need to shake this off. I want to just pretend like he never offered it, but I know the topic of me going beyond the safety of club acts is going to come up again. Not only that, but he’s going to keep withholding himself from me. At first I didn’t get what he was doing, but now I know exactly what he’s been up to. I should be happy, I get all the rewards of being an obedient pet to him, and I don’t have to pleasure him in the least. But I want to. I feel like I need to. Even worse, the pit of my stomach sinks as I think I’m failing him. He gives me so much, and I give him nothing. I groan, arching my neck back and staring at the ceiling. Why is this so fucking complicated? Why can’t I just be normal?
I flip open my laptop to my document for my book, brushing the hair out of my face and ready to focus on something else, anything else. My fingers itch to tap away at the keys and get out all of my frustration by getting lost in the world of romance. I stare at the cursor blinking on the screen of the blank Word document for several moments as I run through the images of me with Sir in my head for inspiration. My breath comes in shallow and my thighs clench. After a moment, I close my eyes, place my hands over the keys and begin writing the scene that plays before my eyes.
It’s quarter past eight and I can’t get him out of my head. His chiseled, handsome smile, his rock hard abs, and his thick 10-inch cock. Fuck. He so sexy. I can’t stop thinking about his slicked back dark hair, or the way he looks at me. His incredible eyes bore into me with an intensity that makes my skin burn with desire. I’ve never met a man that’s looked at me in this way, who’s made me feel this way. His hands caress my body, running along every curve, making me feel like a possession. Like he owns me.
A soft groan escapes my lips as I feel myself clenching below. I need his hands on me now, caressing me, feeling me. I want to be fucked hard and…
My eyes pop back open and I suck in a deep breath, pulling my hands off the keys. I was getting carried away with the last passage. I swallow the tightness in my throat and shift in my seat. I shouldn’t be ashamed, it’s what some books are about. I place a hand on my chest as my breathing picks up. But I don’t want my heroine to come off as a horny horn dog the entire book. At least not hornier than the male lead.
I want this story to be...
I purse my lips, wondering how I can make something that’s just about sex… something more. The darkness in Sir’s eyes immediately come to me. They stare back at me, luring me to write about them. About what happened in his past that made him into the dominating man he is today. I place my elbow on the desk, my pointer tapping on my bottom lip as I wonder if he’ll tell me. I imagine my heroine, she had the courage to ask. If she met a man like Sir…
What would she do? Chewing my bottom lip, I sit there for a moment and try to come up with something. But all I can think about is how the heroine in my book has the courage and strength that I don’t.
After a moment I get up from my seat, deciding to pull inspiration from one of my many romances. The second my ass leaves the seat, I hear a tell-tale ping. I sag back into the seat, clicking on the email notification pop up on my screen.
I crinkle my nose at the sender. It’s from the director of the counseling department. I wonder what it could be about. My heart jumps as I read the subject line. What the fuck?
From: James Cricket
To: Lilly Wade
Subject: Notice of Severance
Dear Lilly Wade,
You are receiving this email because you are part of a counseling internship program that has been defunded by state lawmakers.
Over the last year, Children in Need Foundation has fought tooth