wasn’t meant to offend you. I’m fully aware that you are not a whore. And I would never see you as that.” I’m quick with my words as my heart races and my body heats. Fuck!
I crouch in front of her, meeting her eyes and taking her hands in mine, rubbing soothing circles on her wrists. I ignore the fact that she’s completely disobeyed me.
I’m that desperate and I should have known better than to say it the way that I did. “I apologize, my flower.” I lean in and kiss her. Her lips are hard at first as she holds onto the anger that I’ve caused her, but then they soften, molding to mine. The tension ebbs from my body. Good girl. Forgive me.
“I know leaving here is going to be hard for you,” I whisper against her lips, cupping the sides of her face and trying to explain myself. “You deserve to be compensated. Especially with what I want from you.”
“It doesn’t feel right.” She answers calmly; at least she’s looking me in the eye. The moment is lost between us. I nod my head, my chest feeling tight, disappointment lacing my blood.
I stand, tucking my dick back in and buttoning my pants, feeling like a fucking fool. I reach my hand out for her, “Let’s go see the show.” I haven’t gotten her off yet, but I will. I always do. Especially during the shows. I offer her a tight smile, but what we had was ruined.
Her brows furrow, tilting up towards the center with concern etched on her face. Her eyes focus on my crotch as she stands and frowns. “I’m sorry,” her voice cracks as she realizes that I’m once again not allowing her to please me sexually. Not that she’d want to now anyway.
“You haven’t done anything wrong,” I answer her honestly. I lead her to the exit as the door to the stairwell opens, taking her away from here yet again, and having no commitment from her to leave.
Chapter 11
Lilly
It will definitely make me a whore, I tell myself over and over again.
I’ve never read a book where a woman accepted money in exchange for sex and I didn’t think she was a whore. So if I’m going to judge myself by that same logic, then that makes me one too.
If I accept Sir’s offer. The keyword being “if”.
No matter which way I look at it, no matter how it’s said, I can’t see the offer in a positive light.
Sir called it an incentive, but the wording doesn’t matter. You can put lipstick on a pig all you want, but it’s still a pig. What he wanted was a contract with me.
And isn’t that what prostitution is? A contract between two consenting adults involving sex and money?
Anger burns my throat.
I feel insulted that he would offer to pay me. It cheapened the experience that I had with him. I don’t even know why he felt the need to offer me money. Did he think I was that cheap and could be bought after I rebuffed his advances to take me out of the club?
I bite my thumbnail, remembering the look of want in his eyes. I fucking want him too.
I’m tempted. The kind of money he was offering could make such a huge difference in my life. I could pay off my student loans, my car payment and stash the money away for future investments. There’s no shortage of things I could do with that money. And it means I’d get him. I’d get to live out a forbidden desire that keeps me awake late at night.
Do whatever you want with it. It will still mean you’re whore, that annoying voice at the back of my head whispers.
I grit my teeth, angry that I’m even considering his offer. But at the same time, I’m breathless just thinking about it. The very idea of being paid for makes my body tingle with excitement and exhilaration. It’s something forbidden. And that in and of itself is tempting.
“But I am not a whore.” I mutter, closing the textbook on my desk. It’s not like I could focus on it anyway.
Every time I’m with him, I feel safe. Even though there is something behind his eyes that scares me, something that warns me away, it’s what draws me to him. I know I love the way he turns me on and how he gets me off. I’ve never experience anything this sexually intense with anyone. And I