a moment longer.
Gray was there for all of those. A steady presence and a port in the storm and a fucking cheerleader, urging me on when I was doubting myself. I don’t think I can ever repay him for everything he’s done for me.
But now I’m somewhat steady on my feet. Life is manageable. No great upheavals anywhere in sight. So maybe, just maybe, I can try and give something back. If fun is what Gray is after, I’m pretty sure I can show him a good time. In a strictly non-naked, non-dirty manner, of course.
I straighten myself. This is it. My chance to shine.
I can do fun. I can do risky. I can do adventurous.
And I can definitely help Gray with this list.
9
Kai
Another morning, another foray into shirtless breakfast preparation, but I power through because the way I see it, one day I’ll be immune to Gray’s body, and once that day arrives, I need to be able to pinpoint the exact moment it happened because there will be a celebration.
Besides, today is not that bad because I have prime distraction material. The happy list still occupies most of my thoughts. I spent half the night trying to figure out if I should tell Gray that I found it, but in the end, I decided against it. Not that the two of us are in the habit of keeping secrets from each other, but judging on how he has done everything in his power to avoid talking about his midnight confession, I suspect that bringing up the list would only make Gray clam up and refuse to even entertain the thought of following through with the ideas he has in there.
So I’m going to keep my mouth shut, and I’m going to help Gray with his list inadvertently and without being too obvious about it. What could go wrong? And I know that sentence is the highest example of self-sabotage, but not at this particular moment because my plan has absolutely no flaws and it’s foolproof in its simplicity.
“We should do something this weekend,” I tell Gray as I slide glasses on the table.
“Sure. Do you need help at the workshop?”
I shake my head. “No. I think we both need a break from work. We should go somewhere. Do something fun.”
“What do you have in mind?”
I shrug, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. It’s dumb. Gray doesn’t know I know about the list, so anything I propose, he’ll just figure it’s something I want to do, and there won’t be any alarm bells blaring inside his brain, alerting him of shady dealings. Logic does me little to no good. Guilt is a bitch. I stomp it down. Gotta look at the big picture. Gotta make Gray happy.
“You want to go camping.” Gray stares at me like I’ve gone insane.
“Yes.”
“In March,” he says.
“It’s the end of March. Almost April,” I say dismissively.
“It snowed last night.”
“Which is perfect. Honestly, winter camping without snow is the worst.” Never mind said layer of snow has already melted into nothing.
Gray blinks like he’s trying to decide if he should contact the authorities and make an official complaint about his best friend’s mental state.
“But snow,” he repeats.
I guess it’s time to bring out the big guns. “I used to go with my dad,” I say. “It was our guys’ weekend. I’ve been missing it a lot.”
Gray squints his eyes at me, but I just stare back, portraying all the innocence of an angel. And not one of those fallen ones. Nope. I’m pure of soul. No manipulation going on here.
I might be going to hell.
“Please,” I add.
“Fine,” Gray finally grumbles. “I’ll come and freeze to death with you.”
“It’s not exactly what I had in mind, but if that’s what you want, we can certainly make that happen, too. We’ll be like a remake of Rose and Jack. I’ll push you out of the tent in the middle of the night and stare at you with sad eyes until you draw your last, shivery breath before I roll you down the hill and let bears do their thing with your corpse.”
“Oh man, where do I sign up?” Gray asks. “This sounds like the experience of a lifetime. In that it’ll apparently be the last one I’ll ever have.”
“You’ll be fine. Mon has all the necessary gear, so we’ll stop by her place and steal everything we need.”
“You’re a good brother,” he says, sarcasm dripping from every word. “Not to mention a good friend. What the