plenty of clothes at home, so packing isn’t necessary, but it’s nice to have my favorites with me when I’m there.
The drive home doesn’t take long. It’s just under an hour and a half from my apartment to my parents’ house.
When I step into our home, I can smell spices coming from the kitchen. “Hey, Mom.”
She looks up from the marinade she is making for the meat we’ll grill later. She squeals in surprise, her eyes going wide. “Jax! Hey, honey. I didn’t know you were coming home today.”
“Yeah, I thought I’d spend some time here this summer.” I give her a playful wink.
“Well, you know I think that’s a great idea.”
“Where is everyone?” I ask.
“Landon couldn’t make it home today. He’s catching up on some work stuff. Your dad is at the office. He’ll be back before dinner.”
“Who’s coming over tonight?”
“The Madisons, minus Amy. She’s working today.” Mom tosses the steaks into a ceramic dish and pours the marinade over them. Placing a lid on the dish, she puts it in the refrigerator.
“All right. Well, is there anything I can do to help you?” I question.
“If you wouldn’t mind¸ the grass needs to be mowed.” She dries her hands on a dish towel and looks expectantly in my direction.
“Of course I don’t mind.” I turn to leave the kitchen.
“Jax?”
I halt and turn to face her. “Yeah?”
“Thanks for coming home, sweetie.” She smiles warmly.
I take two big steps, closing the space between us, and I pull her into a hug before kissing her on the forehead. “Love you, Mom.”
The grass appears to be at a good length to me, but I mow it anyway. It’s kind of relaxing to mow, as strange as that sounds. With our riding lawn mower, it usually takes a couple of hours to finish mowing our three acres of grass. The hum of the mower and the warmth of the sun beating down on my skin are calming. It gives me ample time to think about this past year and how so much has changed. I look forward to tonight when I can make things right with Lily.
Holding a big bowl of something, Lily looks amazing as she approaches my mother. She’s wearing short jean shorts and a flowy baby-blue tank top, making her blue eyes pop with brightness. Her long blonde hair is pulled back into a high ponytail, one of my favorite styles on her. She has the most exquisite bone structure, and with her hair pulled back, her high cheekbones, long neck, collarbone, and shoulders are on full display. I close my eyes as images of kissing Lily from her breasts, across her collarbone, up her neck, and over to her mouth run through my mind.
I walk up to her. “Hey,” I say quietly.
“Hey,” she responds without looking at me.
She’s nervous. I can tell by the way she is fidgeting with her hands.
I eye her curiously. “Can we talk?”
“Sure,” she agrees.
“Walk with me?”
We walk around my backyard in silence until we end up at the wooden swing sitting toward the back of the property line. We both take a seat on the swing, and my feet push off against the grass until the swing is moving in a calming rhythm.
I exhale. “I’m sorry.”
“Me, too.”
I shake my head. “No, you have nothing to be sorry for. This is all me.” Lily is silent as I continue, “You’re right. This breakup was my choice, and now, I have to live with the consequences. I don’t blame you for wanting to date someone else.”
“I didn’t want—”
I cut her off before she finishes her thought, “I know. You didn’t want any of it. It is my fault that we aren’t together, and that makes it my fault that you are with someone else. I don’t have the right to be mad at you. Why wouldn’t you date someone else?”
“I didn’t want to, and I didn’t for a long time. I was just so sad and lonely. You broke my heart, Jax, and to be honest, I still don’t completely understand why.”
I nod. “I know.”
“I was so tired of being sad. Trenton came along and made me feel happy again. He wasn’t you, but he was someone who wanted me, and…it felt good to be wanted.”
Her chin trembles, and I can tell that she is still having a difficult time with our separation. My heart breaks that I ever made her feel unwanted.
“Oh, Little…come here.” I wrap my arm around her shoulder and pull her to me.
She