necks in frustration and overtime. Most are, but not everyone operates that way. Take Ned, for example. Ned Ayers shares a cubicle wall with me, and I don't think I’ve ever seen Ned leave late. He’s one of those people who is anal, with a perfectly arranged desk where everything has its place, and he doesn't spend almost any time talking to people aimlessly. When you talk to Ned, it’s about work. If you want to discuss sports, it better be during his lunch break, because work hours are for work and Ned has a wife and children to go home to. Ned puts his family first, not his job. He may not be the most popular person in the office, but I guarantee he’s popular with his family at home, and that’s all that matters to Ned. It’s all about priorities and principles.
Don't get me wrong. It’s not that I didn't prioritize Eli before, and I most certainly am not taking the blame for Eli sleeping with someone else, but I’d be lying if I said I didn't let my job become more of a priority than going home to my husband. The longer Eli and I have been married, the easier it has become for me to stay later at work.
Eli is guilty of this, too. As time has gone by, Eli has had less and less of an issue with staying late or traveling for work. He’s the owner of the company, and he has plenty of people he could delegate to, but he loves what he does and takes on responsibility he doesn't have to. He's a good boss, and being a good boss is important to him the same way being there for the families I work with is important to me. Naturally, we want to be good at our jobs and do whatever it takes to be successful. We want to get promoted and make money, because when you're married, success benefits your family. It’s understandable that we want to go the extra mile to further our careers and make more money. It’s good to be ambitious.
However, it’s important we don't let our desire for success choke out our desire to have a successful marriage. Our jobs can’t become our partners. The ones we love aren't supposed to take a back seat to the jobs we have. No matter what, our partners are supposed to feel like they're number one in our lives. The same way our partners don't want to feel second to other people in our lives, they don't want to feel like they’re second to our jobs either. I don't want Eli putting his job before me, and I shouldn't be putting my job before him. That doesn't mean I won't work hard and put in extra time when I have to, but my priority has to be Eli. Most of the time, I work late without even being asked. It’s time for that to change. It’s time for Eli and me to put our marriage first.
The second my fingers touch my computer, I open my calendar and start moving appointments around. I’ll have tons of phone calls to make and will probably piss off a few clients by rescheduling, but I’d rather make them mad than make things more difficult for Eli and me.
Over the course of the day, I make all of my home visits take up one day, and schedule the next day to be administrative, where I’ll process all of the filing from the day before and set up the next day’s pre-visit paperwork. I alternate home visit days with administrative days and find that if I would've done this years ago, I wouldn't have had to work late anywhere near as much as I did. In one day, I systematized my entire schedule and made my job easier and faster. Most days, I’ll get off exactly when I’m supposed to, just like Ned Ayers. It’s amazing what we can do when we straighten out our priorities and put our minds to it.
“Working hard today, huh Demi?” I hear a voice say from behind me while I type out a document for tomorrow’s first home visit, and I instantly feel a stab of annoyance in my ribs. When I turn around, the annoyance grows like a fast-moving cancer and takes over all of my organs. It’s Chris Bronson, decked in all-black with his standard Eagles mug firmly in hand.
“Umm, yeah,” I reply. It comes out a little