one day, and home visits the next day. I just want to get my schedule a little more under control. I’ve been letting it get the best of me for too long.”
Eli looks over at me and pauses. I can see something somber in his look before he says, “You're not overworking, Demi. If anything, maybe I’ve been overworking. You do what you’ve got to do. I understand you care about your work and the families you come in contact with. You're not doing anything wrong, so you do your thing and I’ll support you as long as you'll have me. Okay? You don't have to change anything.”
The two of us share a look, and although it’s unspoken, I’m thanking him for growing some understanding. I hate that we had to go through all of this for him to change, but I appreciate it, nonetheless.
“Thanks,” is all I say in response, and we both go back to eating our dinner.
“So, they're not going to see each other before they decide to get married? That’s the concept of this show?” Eli says in disbelief as we watch a new Netflix show.
“Yeah, I think it is. This bitch right here doesn't even like the guy she agreed to marry because she's hung up on the guy who didn't propose to her. It’s crazy,” I answer. The show is ridiculous but entertaining.
“Damn, she doesn't want to sleep with her new fiancé, but it’s so obvious she’d hook up with the other guy in the bathroom if he asked her to right now,” Eli says, his eyes glued to the screen as we find ourselves fully invested in the new show.
“If we watch long enough, she might just ask him to run away with her!”
Twenty minutes goes by with the two of us doing nothing more than eating, watching TV, and enjoying each other’s company. This is the closest we've been to our normal selves in quite some time, and it’s a great reminder of what I miss so much about being married to Eli. We’ve been best friends for a long time. Leaving him would mean leaving that friendship behind, and some things are much harder to replace than others.
After dinner is over, Eli takes our plates and rinses them off in the sink, before setting them into the dishwasher. As far as I’m concerned, tonight is a success. We managed to eat a meal together without it breaking into a fight. It helps that neither of us mentioned the thing that's been hovering over us like a ghost all this time. Maybe that’s how we get the ghost to disappear.
Although it’s been a great night, I’m still not ready for us to go all the way back to normal, so I still head to the bedroom alone, while Eli turns himself towards the basement door. We say goodnight to each other the same way we’ve been doing since we started sleeping separately, but before I go into my room, I feel a strong urge to say something else. Maybe I shouldn't say it because I don't want to give Eli the wrong impression. I don't want him thinking we’re one hundred percent back to pre-mistake conditions, but it’s been six months since we’ve said it to each other, and maybe we’re due for a reminder.
“Eli,” I call to him as I stand in the doorway to the bedroom.
“Yeah,” he answers. I hear the hope in his voice when he replies. He probably thinks I’ll invite him to bed tonight, but I’m still not ready for anything like that. However, I’m ready to say this.
“I love you,” I say to my husband, and although it makes me feel scared and a bit frustrated, it also feels like coming home after being away too long.
“I love you, Demi,” Eli replies, followed by a grateful smile.
“Goodnight.”
“Goodnight. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Eli answers, and we disappear into our separate rooms.
25
~ Demi ~
“Good morning, Demi.”
“Good morning,” I say back to another worker as I'm greeted for the tenth time walking into the office. I pass countless cubicles on my way to my desk, and see people nodding with pleasant smiles as I go.
When I reach my desk, I set my sights on my computer. Today will be another day of organizing. I thought of this yesterday when I first started getting all of this together, and after a successful, laughter-filled night with Eli, I know I’m doing the smart thing.
Not every social worker is up to their