to go on with the cheater. To some, one step outside of the relationship is all it takes to blow the whole thing up, mistake or not. In these rare situations where the cheater still has a chance at redemption and patching things up, there’s a very fine line they have to walk, and Eli just stepped off of it and put his foot in his mouth.
“Eli, I need you to sit up,” I say. For the first time in the session, Eli looks over at me and furrows his brow. “I need you to sit up, because you're not going to like what I’m about to say, but it’s vital that you listen. If you don't, I think there’s a very good chance you might lose Demi.”
Eli lifts himself up slowly. He swings his legs over until his feet are back on the floor, and places his elbows on his thighs as he leans forward to look at me.
“Good,” I begin, leaning in to match Eli’s intensity. “The first thing you need to do if you want to have any chance of holding onto Demi, is stop talking.”
14
~ Malcolm ~
Eli frowns. He doesn't look happy with me, and that’s fine. My job isn't to make my patients happy, it’s to tell them the truth. Oftentimes, the truth hurts. Eli should prepare himself, because if the truth hurts, I’m about to send a lot of pain his way.
“I’m not sure I’m following you,” Eli says, furrowing his brow until the ridges in his forehead are as deep as the Grand Canyon.
“Listen, this isn't what you want to hear,” I explain, still leaning forward. “But the fate of your relationship is no longer in your hands, Eli. It’s one hundred percent up to Demi whether or not your marriage lives or dies. No amount of apologizing is going to fix what you've broken.”
“If I don't apologize, how is she supposed to know how sorry I am?” Eli inquires. He still has defiance in his tone, which is another thing he’s going to have to learn to let go of if he wants to keep Demi.
“She already knows how sorry you are,” I answer. “She just doesn't care.”
“What?” Eli says with a look on his face like he just bit into something sour.
“She doesn't care, that’s what I’m trying to get you to understand. Demi has heard you apologize countless times, right?”
“Right.”
“Has she looked interested in your apology any one of those times?” Eli pauses to think about it, and comes up with nothing more than a shrug. “Right. Saying you're sorry doesn't mean anything to her right now, because she’s pissed off. She's mad at you, and every time you apologize, two things happen. One, you remind her of what you did, which is a bad thing. And two, you implant the idea in her head that the only reason you're apologizing is because you got caught.”
“But that’s not true,” Eli defends himself. “I truly am sorry for what I did. I wish I could take it back.”
“So does Demi. Put yourself in her shoes,” I go on. “If Demi cheated on you, but only said she was sorry after you caught her, would it not piss you off that she didn't apologize before? You could've confessed the day after you slept with your secretary, but you didn't. You could've confessed at any point between the time you slept with Amber and the time Demi read the text message, but you never did. You never felt bad enough about what you did to apologize for it until Demi caught you, so how is she supposed to accept that you're sorry?”
Eli exhales loud enough for Keisha to hear as he leans back on the couch, grabbing the pillow for comfort.
“I see your point,” he mumbles as he squeezes the pillow. “If apologizing makes me look bad and reminds her of what I did, what am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to let her know how bad I feel? How do I save my marriage?”
“It’s not up to you anymore, Eli,” I say, and I can see the sting of my words on his face. “Think of your marriage this way: you and Demi are mechanics, and your marriage is an engine. The two of you work on the engine equally to keep it functioning properly, but you lost focus and dropped something terrible inside the engine as a result, nearly destroying it. You can apologize all you want, but