go out to breakfast. I file out with my cell mate, and we stand there, waiting for them to count us before we can head down to the cafeteria area.
If there’s one cool thing about jail, it’s that it’s all predictable. Every day, same time, same thing, over and over. It’s much less chaotic than living outside these walls. I actually have a routine for once.
A guard walks up. “Romano.”
I turn to him. “Yeah?”
“This way. Made bail.”
“Huh?” I stare blankly at him. The fuck?
“Made bail. Get your shit together and let’s go.”
I stand there, dazed, not knowing exactly what to do. I should feel happy, but I’m just confused. How the hell did someone get me out of here? Who would do it?
Mary.
The pain I haven’t felt the last day or so socks me in the chest again. She’s going to want to see me, talk to me. Why can’t she just leave me alone? It’s too painful to see her right now. I just can’t.
It’s not like I have a choice at the moment, though. What am I going to do? Tell this dude no? Might be the first time in history anyone’s ever done that, begged to not be bailed out. I don’t even know if I’m allowed to say no.
I don’t have anything I give a fuck about in my cell, so I just follow him. They take me down. I wait in a chair for what seems like hours. Jails are the most inefficient fucking systems on the planet. How hard is it to check and make sure you’re releasing the right person? It’s shit a toddler could do.
They give me my clothes I was wearing when they took me into custody, along with my wallet and other random stuff from my pockets, and I go into a bathroom and change. Then, a buzzer sounds, and they let me walk right through the doors.
No instructions after that. No, “Hey, thanks for staying with us.” I’m just a free man who doesn’t even really know who the fuck he is anymore.
I walk down a corridor and through another set of doors. As soon as I pass through it, I expect to see Mary, but I don’t.
It’s the Collins brothers, all four of them, smirking their asses off, shaking their heads at me.
It would be comical if I wasn’t so emotional right now, mentally prepared to see Mary’s face.
“Oh, what the fuck?” I glance around instinctively. I know what I’m doing. I’m looking for her, even though I shouldn’t. Deep in my heart there’s nothing I want more than to see her and hold her. My heart breaks in half, and at the same time, relief washes over me because I don’t have to see her.
I’m just trying to do the right thing, but I see how people stray now. It’s so easy to just dodge your problems, push them all away in a dark recess in your mind and go on like nothing happened. Doing the right thing is so fucking hard, and it’s so much easier to just skate by, shave off the corners, take shortcuts to avoid difficult things.
“You’re welcome, asshole.” Decker grins at me and gestures toward some chairs against the wall.
It’s not like I have somewhere pressing to be, so I take a seat, and the brothers sit in pairs on each side of me. I just stare straight ahead.
Decker starts to say something, but I interrupt him.
“I didn’t ask you to do any of this.”
“Yeah, well, I thought your innocent little girlfriend was going to burn down the firm if we didn’t.”
The pain hits my chest when he mentions Mary. I want to say so many things, but my throat closes off, and the walls move in on me. “I was just trying to do what was right.”
Decker sighs. “Is that why you pulled that shit in my office? Sever ties to the firm so we couldn’t be implicated in anything?”
I nod, feeling even worse than I did before. “I’m sorry. I knew my license would be voided. I didn’t want to fuck anything up for you, more than I already had, and I’m sorry I lied. I just…”
“There’s nothing wrong with wanting a better life, Rick. I mean Dominic, fuck. This is so weird.” Donavan reaches over and grabs my shoulder.
I shake my head. “How? I mean, what happens next? What the fuck happened? How am I sitting out here? Am I still facing charges?”
Donavan grins at me. “No charges. You’re