a bunch of shit on Wells Covington, tracing ownership through corporations, staking out warehouses, trailing him to look for known associates, calling around. Usual social engineering shit for intelligence that’s right in my wheelhouse. About all I’ve seen on that end that’s of interest, is his affinity for sex clubs, and I can’t imagine that being valuable other than maybe for some kind of blackmail.
I hate that my brain immediately goes to that. I hate what I am, especially when I want to be a better person for Mary, but I am who I am and I don’t know if I can change, even though I want to.
The problem with the whole scenario is Decker hides information from his brothers and manipulates things behind the scenes, and it puts me right in the middle of it. Dexter and Wells are best friends and shit, so I’m forced to lie both ways when they ask me to do this kind of shit. If Decker would just fucking talk to his brothers, I’m sure they could work it all out, but they’re secretly bitches who avoid confrontation.
Pussies.
You’re one to talk, Mr. Walks Away who doesn’t communicate for shit.
“Sup, Rick,” says Dexter.
“When’s the castration? I mean, wedding?” I give him a little smirk. Have to keep up appearances.
Donavan and Deacon laugh their asses off. Decker pretends to crack a smile.
Dexter doesn’t miss a beat. “How’s slumming down at the church revival going?”
Usually, I’d laugh my ass off. In fact, I have to pretend to find it amusing. Fact is, I want to punch him right in the fucking face for bringing up Mary. He has no idea what happened, but still. My heart speeds up, face heats up like an iron in a flame.
I have to take a few deep breaths, just to calm myself and respond in a normal fashion. “Going well, and I’ll pray for your soul.”
Dexter shakes his head, and snickers. “So full of shit.”
“Aren’t we all?”
He doesn’t respond.
I do my best to change the subject. “So, you guys hiding out from your women or what? Trying to get a little ‘me’ time before hitting up a farmer’s market with the boss? Have a scotch and cigar without anyone catching you?” I hold up both hands. “Not judging. I get it, I really do.”
Donavan mumbles, “Asshole.”
Deacon says, “Firm finance meeting. You coming?”
I shake my head and grin. “Oh no, I never worry about getting paid, and that’s all that really matters, now, isn’t it?”
They all walk past me, except for Donavan. Decker’s eyes never leave mine as Donavan hangs around. I can tell Decker wants more information than what I’ve given him, but he won’t come out and say it, because he knows I’m the best at what I do. He won’t get better work from anyone else. It’s why I can walk around here like I own the place. He’s the most impatient cocksucker I’ve ever met, though, and I have to get him something of substance soon or he’ll be on my ass.
“Hey, we still good for the date?” Donavan hems and haws.
“Told you I had it all taken care of. It’s no biggie. They do them at the church all the time.”
Donavan nods. “Okay. Just feels weird, but Pais is gung-ho about doing it. I don’t know.” He shrugs.
“Just relax, if I can walk into the church and not get struck by lightning, so can you.”
“Shit.” Donavan sighs, then seems to get his confidence back. “All right, I’ll holler later if something changes.”
“It’ll be fine. I promise.”
Donavan starts to walk off.
“I mean, the part where they pull the rattlesnakes and shit out is kinda weird, but you’ll survive, I promise. They’ve only lost two church members. Ran out of antivenom.”
He throws up a middle finger and doesn’t look back.
Finally, he walks off, and I let out a sigh of relief. I don’t know how long I can keep this shit up, pretending Mary isn’t affecting my life. I don’t know what I’m going to do about that situation.
There’s still a small pang of guilt I’ve buried deep in the pit of my stomach when I’m around the brothers too. It never goes away.
Fact is, if they really found out the truth about me, I’d be fired. Doesn’t matter how irreplaceable I am. They’d have no choice.
I can’t let that happen—ever.
Once they disappear, Mary comes back to the front of my mind. What the hell am I going to do?
Mary Patrick
I do not enjoy my life right now.
Everything