not. Could it ruin the night I planned? Part of me wants to just say forget it all, just don’t worry about it, and let’s just enjoy this, but it’d still be buried down inside her. The same way all the secrets I’m keeping are eating me from the inside out.
“You can tell me or not tell me. Whatever you want to do.”
Her eyes roam over to mine. “I lied to Decker, about you. At our meeting.”
I choke up a little, surprised by the admission. “What? Why?”
“He asked me about Covington and the meeting. Covington told me he knew Abigail, you, and I were all looking into him, didn’t say how. But I didn’t tell Decker he mentioned anything about you.”
My blood heats up a little. Not at Mary, just the situation, the not knowing what the hell Covington is up to, even though I pushed back the other date to try and find out. I came up empty and didn’t have near enough time. Mary breathes what looks like a huge sigh of relief, like that was weighing her down. It pulls me out of my thoughts and brings my focus back to her. I don’t really know what to say, but I have to say something.
Finally, I just nod. “Okay, thank you for telling me. I’ll take care of it with Decker, okay? You don’t have to worry about it.”
She stares back across the table as though she wants more. More that I can’t give her right now. I could, but everything would be over in an instant. No doubt in my mind about that, and I can’t. I just can’t lose her.
“Soon, okay?”
Her glare hardens a little more. It’s so intense, I just hold up both hands and do the only thing I can do—beg. “Please? It’s a long conversation and I want to enjoy this.”
Her eyes sear a hole in mine, but she finally nods and says, “Okay, but I want to know everything. I can see it’ll be hard for you, and maybe traumatic, and I don’t want to ruin our perfect evening either. But, Rick?”
“Yeah?”
“I get all of you, the same way you get all of me. The good and the ugly.”
I nod, not knowing how I’ll ever pull this off, but I have to. It’s Mary. I don’t know if I can live without her. “I promise.”
Thankfully, the waiter walks over with our plates, and I realize we haven’t even touched the appetizers yet. It breaks the mood for a moment, enough to segue into another topic, because holy shit, that was all heavy. I just want to eat with the woman of my dreams, and smile, and laugh. I want to make her happy. It’s all I want to do.
The waiter drops our plates on the table and fucks off. He learns quick.
I ordered us each a ribeye in advance.
Judging by the smile on her face, she must approve. “He chooses well again. How’d you do it this time?”
“A magician never reveals.”
She glares at me.
I shrug. “It was more deduction and reasoning than anything. For one, I know you eat meat after taking you to Smoque. And you’re from Texas. Which means you probably like big meat.” I give her a wink, but she’s so cute and innocent, I doubt she catches the innuendo, which is twice the fun.
“Did you just say you assumed I eat big meat?”
Holy shit, I think my dick just got hard under the table. She’s way naughtier than I expected her to be. Maybe it’s all the repressed sexual energy. I don’t know. I always heard religious girls were wild, but it just seems like a guy’s fantasy and possibly not rooted in reality.
“I mean, I hoped.”
Mary dies laughing.
“For real, though. Abigail and Tate order the biggest damn steaks I’ve ever seen when we’re at the Gage, while Paisley and Quinn order chicken Caesar salads and shit. I figured it was a southern thing.”
She takes a bite of the steak. “You deduced correctly. Pat yourself on the back.”
I nod, grinning. “I think I will, actually.”
The rest of the meal goes great. The conversation flows, we laugh and smile, no more heavy shit. Just two people chatting away like we’ve been best friends for years. The waiter clears our plates. I tell him to make the desert to go. I want Mary in the hotel room as soon as possible.
I stand up and walk around to her side of the table. She tries to remain composed, but I