the bumper cars.” He gives a tiny eye roll, but the corners of his mouth are lifted into an almost-smile.
“Thanks for the interview. I think it’s going to be great. We were hilarious.”
His near-smile widens slightly. “I haven’t laughed like that in ages.”
I had that feeling. Maybe sometime he’ll tell me why. He makes me intensely curious, not in a nosy way, more like interested in what makes him tick. He puzzles me and I want to know him better.
Maybe I should dial it down, though. I know what happens when I don’t rein myself in; guys get turned off. I most likely already turned him off with my charging into the bumper cars. I’ll probably never see him again, despite his suggestion that we hang out. Even though I don’t want to be someone I’m not, I can learn better ways of communicating, of being considerate. I’m trying.
So I merely say, “I’m glad.” And offer a smile.
“We should exchange numbers.”
“Oh! Right!” Giddiness overtakes me at this demonstration that maybe he will actually call me again. He enters my number into his phone and sends me a text, and I add him to my contacts. “Done!”
“We have a game tomorrow night and Sunday night, but then we’re away for almost all of next week.”
I nod, trying not to show my disappointment.
“I’m going home to the Peg,” he says with a grin. “Also Minneapolis and Columbus.”
“Oh! Are your parents there?”
“Yeah.” His smile is now full-on. “They’ll be there watching.”
“That’s exciting for all of you.”
“Well, probably stressful for my dad. He’s the general manager of the Jets. So obviously he wants them to win.”
“Gah! That’s hard!”
“Right? But this isn’t the first time this has happened. With my old team, it was the same thing every time we played against Winnipeg. My mom cheers for me.”
I laugh. “As she should.”
“Anyway, I have Saturday night off, if you want to do something then.”
My heart swoops. I’m trying to think if I have anything planned Saturday.
“If you’re busy, we can touch base when I’m back,” he says.
“No. I mean, I’m not busy. I think.” I swipe at my phone to check my calendar. Without it, I’d be a total mess, so I’m diligent about entering things into it. “Nope. All good.”
“Okay. We’ll chat before then.”
“Okay!” My smile feels as big as a skating rink.
Our eyes meet. And hold. Excitement shivers through me. Then he leans down and kisses…my cheek. A soft brush of those gorgeous lips across my skin. My belly flip-flops and my heartbeat accelerates.
“Bye,” he says.
“Bye.” I feel like I can’t move, glad there’s a tiled wall behind me to support me.
He moves away, and I call, “Good luck tomorrow night!”
He turns, smiling, and calls, “Thanks!”
I watch him walk, his legs long and his stride sure and athletic.
I have a funny, spongy feeling in my chest, and I can’t stop smiling all the way to my train and then all the way home as I replay my time with Josh Heller.
I find a seat and lean against the wall of the train. This feeling inside me is unfamiliar. Sure, I’ve had boyfriends. Well, very short-lived boyfriends. One in high school. One after I moved to New York. I’ve gone out with lots of guys, but it never turned into anything more. A few times I got hopeful that I’d met someone I could love, but they never seemed to feel that way about me. I’ve wondered if anyone will ever be interested in someone as screwed up as me. So I’m afraid to get my hopes up now. And even more afraid because I had so much fun with him and I really, really want to see him again, and that means the disappointment will be even worse.
I throw myself into work when I get home, pausing for a dinner of leftover garlic Parmesan spaghetti, followed by a snack of popcorn later while editing videos in my bed. I wake up in the morning with a popcorn kernel stuck to my cheek. Sexy. No wonder I sleep alone.
* * *
—
In the morning, I hike a few blocks to my favorite cycle studio. I love the streets in the morning, with little traffic, the noises of garbage trucks picking up trash, and people out sweeping sidewalks and getting ready for the day.
I ride my ass off in class. I’ve never been athletic, but I know I have to stay active to stay healthy. This is my most enjoyable way, although I’ve