to come back and visit occasionally.”
Visit occasionally. Wow. As if I thought this whole scenario couldn’t get any worse. Did he think I’d pop back over, do some spells for him, hang out with the friends I’d made, before telling me I had to leave again? I didn’t think so. No. This was it for us.
“I think staying here is for the best, like you said.” I nodded slowly.
I turned away from him. A hand on my arm stopped me, but I didn’t turn around, wouldn’t look at him.
“Tippi, you don’t understand. This is the way it has to be.”
“Yeah, sure. I get it. You’ve got your reasons.” He always did, didn’t he? They might’ve been great reasons, too, but who would know when he never bothered to share them? Stay when he says stay and then leave when he says it’s time.
I tugged on my arm. When he didn’t let go, I finally turned to look at him.
“What do you want from me? Do you want me to say you’re right? I said it already so if you don’t mind…” My gaze went to his grip.
Instead of releasing me, he yanked me back to him. His arms closed around me, one wrapping about my waist as the other dug into my hair, tilting my head back as his lips found mine, and then his tongue delved within.
I should’ve pushed him away, but instead I melded to his form, feeling how perfectly we fit. The smell of him swallowed me, and the taste of him was intoxicating. Nothing had ever felt so perfect in my life, so right, so meant to be. All the times I’d watched him, curious, wondering why I couldn’t seem to escape his presence—it was all so clear now. Maybe he felt it as well, would ask me to stay. Tell me to come back with him and say how wrong he was to force me out?
His mouth finally broke from mine, even as his arms remained wrapped around me. I could feel his stare as I kept my lids lowered, waiting for him to tell me how wrong he was.
“I shouldn’t have done that,” he said, not sounding contrite at all. His arms dropped and he stepped back. “You should go.”
My body, which had molded to his, stiffened. I was a fool, and even more so now. From the second he embraced me, I’d acted like an idiot. The hands that had wrapped around him now wanted to choke him. I’d behaved just like Belinda. He’d forced me out, and then I’d stood here and kissed him back like my life depended on it. I’d stood here and taken his scraps until he was finished with me. At least when he ended things with Belinda, he’d seemed almost sad about it. With me? He was acting as if I’d done something to him.
“You’re right.”
I turned and walked away, refusing to look back even though every part of me wanted to. I’d been a fool to get comfortable in Xest. I’d been a bigger fool for believing I had any choice in staying. I’d been the biggest fool for letting him kiss me, thinking he’d change his mind.
I wasn’t sure if he stayed standing there watching me or left right away. I didn’t look and didn’t want to know. He’d played me for a fool once too many times.
I walked into my apartment building, happy there was no one about to ask where I’d been. I made my way to the second floor and paused outside my door, wondering if I should test the knob or knock.
I hit my knuckles on the wood. Even if it was open, it didn’t feel like it was my home anymore. Not really.
Rabbit shrieked as soon as she opened the door, pulling me into the apartment and then into a huge hug.
She’d barely been here and Loris had already taken her down with her hugging ways.
“You came back!” Rabbit said, jumping up and down while she continued to hug me.
“I’m back!” I said, trying to match her enthusiasm, which was impossible.
She pulled back immediately. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”
“No. It’s all good. Just finished up what I needed to do there, and now I’m done, ready to get back to normal.” I smiled as wide as I could, even as I knew my eyes wanted to flood the apartment.
Rabbit looked at the door and then back to me. “Hawk didn’t want to say hello or anything?”
She knew Hawk well enough