landed at my feet, upside down. I flipped it over, and there were no words on the other side either.
“I know. I don’t know what to say either.”
I took the slips and brought them to the shredder, destroying them, as if they’d never been suggested.
The front door opened, and Hawk stepped inside.
“I didn’t want to wake you, but since you’re up, we should probably do this now.”
“You mean leave? I was hoping to say goodbye,” I said, looking around the room again, thinking I’d have until tomorrow at least. I’d been here for months and been so determined to leave the entire time. Now I didn’t know what I’d do in the morning when I couldn’t have tea with Zab or laugh when Musso was being a grumpy old man.
“I’ll make the needed explanations, or perhaps you can leave them a note. It’s better if you don’t hang around here too long, especially considering you want to go back to Rest and have a normal life. The longer you stay, the more entangled you’ll become in what’s going on.”
I was starting to think this was more about Hawk wanting me gone than anything else. He couldn’t wait to get rid of me. And if that was the way of it, then fine by me. I wouldn’t beg. I never had.
“That’s probably a smart idea,” I said, faking a smile.
“I set up a place for you in—”
“No. I don’t need you to make arrangements for me. I’ll be fine on my own and I’ll figure it out. I’ll be going back to Salem for now.”
“What about finances? It’s not cheap to move, and you can’t stay there.”
“You don’t need to worry about me. I can take care of myself.”
“I know you can. Tippi, this is for—”
“I agree. It’s for the best.”
I sat at my table with two sheets of paper and tried to jot down a quick goodbye note to both Zab and Musso. Nothing seemed adequate, and Hawk silently staring at me wasn’t helping. In the end, it was a simple goodbye and thank you to them both, though I hoped they knew how much they’d both come to mean to me.
I laid a note on each desk and turned my attention to Hawk.
“If you don’t mind, I’m pretty tired already, so if we can get this going?”
I’d never seen Hawk indecisive until right now. He was staring at me like he wanted to talk, to say something, and maybe would if I gave him an opening. But I didn’t need a lecture on what was best for me. What I needed was to go to Salem, and now. I walked and didn’t stop until I was out the back door, figuring he’d want to do this in the alley instead of making a puddle on his floor. Plus, I needed the brisk air to hide the red of my cheeks and cool the burning in my eyes. He wanted me gone so badly that he wasn’t even going to let me say goodbye to my friends.
When I’d come here, I’d known I was going to be stuck until I could do his spell. I hadn’t realized that it would be just long enough for me to care about this place, these people, to begin to believe I belonged here. Long enough to shift my entire paradigm on life. Long enough to crush me.
Water spilled behind me. I turned and saw him sprinkle salt. I stepped into the water first, without a word, waiting for him. He hesitated for a second and then followed suit.
I thought I’d find myself in my apartment. Instead, he’d landed us behind my building, perhaps for a private goodbye. My goodbyes were done. I’d said them the best I could in a cheap note to the people who’d miss me.
I gave him a nod, intent to give as good as I got. If he could send me away, I certainly wouldn’t show him how deeply it cut.
“Thanks for the lift. Good luck with your—problem.”
“Tippi…”
“It’s a little chilly out.” It felt like a warm spring day compared to Xest. “I’m going to go get settled. Again, thanks for bringing me back here so quickly, a man of your word. You said I could go as soon as I was done, and you held up your end of things. I appreciate it.”
He nodded, as if he was beginning to understand how much I didn’t appreciate it at all.
“After everything settles down, it might be possible for you