light, I said, “You know, I think you’re right. The bed is much too high for my baby boy. Maybe I’ll have to get a rail for your side, so I don’t have to worry about you falling out and hurting yourself while we’re sleeping.”
“But it’s your bed, Daddy, and Daddies don’t need rails.” Sammy had been incredibly reluctant to too much of his gear taking over my bedroom.
“And that’s why you will have a rail on your side of the bed, but I won’t.” I lifted him higher and he hooked his ankles behind my back. Going down the stairs while carrying him was tricky, but we’d eventually get the hang of it. “The other option is we can buy a crib for the nursery and you can sleep in there.”
Sammy scrunched up his nose and shook his head. “That’s an icky idea, Daddy. What happens if I wake up in the night and need you? Then you’ll have to get out of the big warm bed and come to my room. I don’t wanna sleep there, except maybe for naptimes.”
Interesting. He objected to sleeping apart but made no mention of the crib. I’d definitely be calling a local contact who created custom furniture for the lifestyle. My boy’s nursery was getting an overhaul as soon as possible. Knowing he wasn’t opposed to regressing a bit deeper made me feel hopeful about how tonight would go.
I helped Sammy get settled onto the couch. He grimaced and gave me a quizzical look when I barricaded him in the corner with throw pillows around him. “Can’t have my baby getting hurt before his big party, can I? Stay here and I’ll be right back with your drink.”
“Juice?” He bounced on the cushion, smiling up at me. I rubbed my chin like I was trying to decide if he should get juice or water with his dinner. After all, he loved his apple juice, but he’d also been naughty today. “I’ll be good all night if I have juice. Pinky promise.”
I picked up the remote and turned on his cartoons. He reached for his blankie, pulling it under his chin so he could rub the satin edging against his cheek. If I didn’t hurry, he was going to fall asleep before dinner arrived. I filled his sippy cup with juice, but also grabbed a bottle for later.
Sammy eyed the drinks when I set them on the end table. “Two drinks, Daddy? If I drink all that I’m gonna have a soggy bottom.”
“Then it’s a good thing Daddy has more diapers, isn’t it?” It was a shame we’d have company this weekend because I longed for a time when he could be little for more than a few hours or a night. Eventually, using his diaper would be second nature rather than something that embarrassed him. “You know Daddy loves when you need me to change you.”
“I know, but isn’t it icky for you?”
I lifted Sammy off the couch and settled into the spot where he’d been before pulling him onto my lap. He snuggled against my chest as he started sucking down his juice. “Take it easy, Sammy. If you ruin your appetite, you might not get treats before bed. As for your question, it’s not icky or gross, or any other adjective your busy brain might come up with. As your Daddy, I love nothing more than when you put your total trust in me for even your basic needs. It takes an immense level of trust to make yourself that vulnerable.”
“Okay,” he responded sleepily. Dinner needed to hurry up and get here. I had a boy to feed and then get to bed. It was going to be an exhausting weekend, both physically and emotionally.
15
Sam
As soon as I woke up on Saturday, I felt a shift. It was like my brain was already screaming at me to get out of bed and quit playing. I tried being as careful as possible sneaking out of the bed, but Daddy tightened his arm around my waist and pulled me back to him. “Sleep, Sammy.”
“I need to get ready.” When I tried lifting his arm, he tucked his fingers between my side and the mattress. “Daddy, they’re going to be here soon. I need to get dressed and then make sure none of my toys are out where they can find them.”
“Already taken care of.” He kissed the back of my neck. “Sleep. I have an alarm set so we’ll have time for