started packing my laptop, books, and notes. I glanced at my dresser, wondering if it would be presumptuous to pack an overnight bag as well. Did I even want him to invite me to spend the night?
My heart thumped rapidly in my chest, and I had to concentrate on my breathing to keep from hyperventilating. If he did offer and I accepted, that would probably mean sharing a bed. Maybe more. And I still wasn’t sure I was ready to go that far. It was one thing for him to say he had no issue with my lack of a typical penis, but I’d read a few too many horror stories to believe he’d feel the same once clothes came off.
But if I didn’t pack a bag and the day went well, I’d have to come home. And that would mean tossing and turning while my roommates partied, because why should they care about things like normal people wanting to sleep.
There was no right answer. I decided to throw a change of clothes and my travel kit into a bag. With as often as I fell asleep at the bar, it probably wasn’t a bad idea to have that stuff stowed in my trunk anyway. And by justifying it that way, I could pretend I wasn’t tentatively hoping Theron asked me to stay with him—even if it was way too soon for that.
When Theron sent me the address, I entered it into GPS, surprised to see he only lived a few miles from the club. That could be convenient in the future.
It’ll take me about twenty minutes to get there, I texted on my way into the bathroom. One look in the mirror had me wishing I hadn’t said that. Theron hadn’t been subtle about the fact he was looking for a boy. We met in the playroom, which said, at the very least, he wasn’t opposed to me being little. Would he still like me if he saw me scruffy? My hair was also sticking up in every direction, but there wasn’t much I could do about that, other than getting it wet and trying to tame it a bit.
In short, I was a mess. And maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing. There had been a time in my life when I’d adopted the attitude that people could either take or leave me, but I wasn’t going to change to make anyone happy. I needed to find that guy again because no way would he have been angsting over whether he’d make a good impression on a man.
I wanted to be that guy again. But doing so meant forgetting everything that had happened during my freshman year of college before I’d taken yet another year off to get my shit together.
Mav was right; it was time to take back the control I was still giving Anthony over my life. The first tiny step I could take toward that goal was not obsessing about being the adorable, clean-shaven twink I’d been the night I met Theron. If he wanted to me to go to his house to study, he’d have to see me in full student-mode.
My stomach started to churn the closer I got to Theron’s house. The difference between where he lived and my place, was like night and day. When the GPS announced that I had arrived at my destination, I gaped at the house in front of me, then checked the text from Theron to make sure I didn’t screw up and enter the wrong address. No way could this be his house. I’d imagined Theron living in something modest, maybe a townhome with modern furnishings. But no, this was definitely the address he’d given me.
I grabbed my backpack off the passenger seat and wiped my sweaty palms as I made my way up the sloped driveway. The front door opened, and Theron greeted me with a broad smile. “I was beginning to think I’d have to drag you out of the car.”
“Sorry, I wasn’t sure I’d gotten the right address,” I admitted. My cheeks heated when I realized how that might sound to him. “I mean, not that you couldn’t have a house like this but it’s not what I was expecting. It’s big for someone who lives on his own.”
That lump in my stomach grew bigger as the weight of the words hit me. Maybe he hadn’t always lived here alone. While I wasn’t sure how old he was—that wasn’t really the type of