Daddy had never done anything to make me feel like an imposition or a squatter in his space. The exact opposite was true. Every time I turned around, he was rearranging his life to make room for me. He trusted me enough to have the code to get into his house when he wasn’t here, and I repaid him by hiding.
“You might have to remind me a little bit sometimes. I’ve never been good about accepting help from others,” I admitted. Daddy fed me another bite of nugget and I pulled the little bowl of fruit in front of me. “It’s like I got so much help from my family when I was a teen, and then I saw how many other guys like me didn’t have the same support so I thought I needed to be extra independent to make up for it.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” Theron slid off his stool, turned mine so I faced him, and stepped between my legs. “I understand why you did it, but I promise no one is keeping tally of what different people are doing. Let me help you from now on?”
“I will,” I promised. I let out a huge yawn. It felt like now that we were clearing the air, my brain was able to process how tired I was. “I think I’m finished. Can we go to bed now?”
“You need to finish your fruit, and then I’ll get you cleaned up and you can use the potty before I put you in your jammies,” he told me. No matter how many times I spent the night here, I was pretty sure he’d always remind me what was about to happen. It was the start of our routine. “And I have a new surprise waiting for you upstairs. I was going to show you tomorrow when you came over, but tonight would be even better.”
I bounced in my seat, shoveling bits of fruit into my face without bothering to chew. Daddy cleared his throat and I looked over, aware that I looked like a chipmunk with his cheeks filled with nuts. And that made me laugh so hard I choked. Daddy was quick to grab a napkin and hold it up to my mouth. It was disgusting, but when faced with spitting out my food or choking to a horrible death, gross was way better than dead. He didn’t seem fazed as he wadded up the napkin and tossed it in the garbage can.
“You need to slow down, baby. I know you love surprises, but that’s not worth hurting yourself.” Daddy’s tone was lighter, and I felt able to take a deep breath. We were going to be okay. “Are you ready to turn in for the night?”
“Yes, please.” Daddy quickly wiped my hands and turned out the kitchen lights after putting my dishes into the dishwasher. I didn’t know what to think as I followed him up to the master bedroom. My surprise couldn’t be a toy because he wouldn’t give me that at bedtime. It might be a new pair of pajamas, but something about the quaver in his voice said it was bigger than a new outfit.
A binkie? Maybe. We’d talked about regressing further and it was something I wanted to try.
A bottle? I hadn’t flat out said it to him, but I’d thought about it a lot. I wanted to know how it felt to curl up against Daddy’s side for a bedtime bottle.
I froze, unable to keep going when another possibility entered my mind. It was something we’d talked about a lot. Something I wanted more than anything but didn’t think he’d want. But maybe that was dumb when I remembered everything he’d done for me.
“Sammy, are you okay?” He brushed his thumb over my cheek. I was going to have to shave this weekend. I didn’t need to as often as a lot of people. When I was Daddy’s boy, it didn’t feel like a bad thing that I’d never turned into a grizzly bear with head to toe hair. Daddy seemed to like it when I had as little hair on my body as possible. So far, that just meant having him help me shave my face and my bottom area a couple times a week. I didn’t mind that because it was special time for the two of us.
“I’m okay. I was trying to think about what my surprise might be, and my head got all spinny,” I admitted. My cheeks felt hot. Daddy pressed