than look weak or in need of help. No worries, though. We’ll break through that.
“Sean Tillman?” I ask, although it’s rhetorical.
“Yes,” my newest patient answers with a soft smile.
“Good morning. I’m Dr. Malcolm Colson.”
“Good morning, Dr. Colson. It’s so nice to meet you.”
“You as well. Come in and make yourself comfortable, Sean. Let’s get started.”
4
~ Malcolm ~
I know virtually nothing about Sean Tillman. The only thing I make sure Keisha writes down when we get new patients is their name and age. I do it this way on purpose, because when patients come in, I want to be able to ask questions that get them to open up. I want to learn everything about them from their own mouths. Over the years, I've found that asking someone a simple question and then allowing them the space to elaborate often provokes a thorough, in-depth response. In this profession, it’s not just what a patient says. It’s also how they say it.
Sean Tillman comes in and takes a seat on the couch facing away from the wall, and I take my place across from him in my black armchair with my yellow legal pad firm in hand. Sean is nervous, which is typical, but I feel only excitement when I take my seat. This is a new journey that’s about to begin, and I’m anxious to get started.
The first thing I observe about Sean is his physical features. He’s roughly five-foot-nine, maybe a hundred-sixty-five pounds. He’s a little on the skinny side, and doesn't seem overly concerned with fashion. His clothes aren't fitted properly, his hair hangs loosely over his forehead, and he's wearing plain brown New Balance tennis shoes. He dresses for comfort, not for style, which gives me the slightest insight about what might bring Sean in today. I also can't help but notice that Sean is here by himself, which affords me another clue.
I’m a relationship therapist who specializes in sex therapy, so I find myself wondering how Sean’s appearance is perceived by his significant other. However, I won't read too much into this. It’s true that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, especially in my profession. Instead of focusing on Sean’s physical attributes, I take a deep breath and exhale loud enough for him to hear. I’m hoping he’ll mirror me, which he does, letting out a whoosh of air of his own. Good. It’ll help him to relax for the start of the session.
“All right. Good morning, Sean,” I begin as I place my legal pad in my lap and leave it there, giving Sean my full attention. “Why don't you tell me what brings you here.”
Sean swallows hard, before letting out another exhale. He’s trying to help himself get over his nerves, and I smile at him to help him feel safe enough to begin.
“Well, umm,” Sean starts, which is exactly how I imagined he’d begin. “I’ve been having some relationship issues lately. Well, it’s one particular issue, and I’m hoping to get some assistance. Talk it through. Pinpoint my problem.”
Sean pauses, waiting for me to ask another question, but another question isn't needed yet, so I simply add, “I see,” before stopping to let him continue.
Sean clears his throat. “Umm, you'll have to forgive me. I’m a bit nervous about this. It’s a sensitive subject, and I’m not sure how to begin. Never thought I’d find myself in a therapist’s office, talking about this kind of stuff.”
“I understand,” I reply with a calm, confident nod. “Am I correct in assuming that you know what it is I specialize in?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, so you're aware that it’s my job to talk about relationships and the issues within them. It’s also my job to talk candidly about sex. Trust me, Sean, there isn't anything you can say that would offend or surprise me. I’ve been a relationship and sex therapist for five years now, and as much as I’m against tooting my own horn, I’m good at what I do. I know it’s easier said than done, especially upon first meeting me, but you don't have to feel embarrassed or ashamed of anything that is said in this office. I’m here to help you in whatever ways I can. It’s not my job to judge one way or another.
“What you can expect from me, Sean, is honesty,” I go on, giving Sean the speech it seems I have to give all my new clients, especially the nervous ones. “I want to challenge you to be honest with