a person is having fantasies that are criminally perverted or violent, they should be allowed to have them.
We can't tell people what to do with their thoughts, much like we can't tell them what to do with their own bodies. Whether it’s tattoos or piercings, people have the right to do what they wish with their own bodies. Which leads me to my next question for Sean.
“This topic actually segues into something else I think might be important for you,” I say, to which Sean tilts his head, awaiting the question. “Do you masturbate?”
Sean’s eyes bulge to twice their size as he frowns at me.
“Excuse me?” he says with an abashed smile.
“Do you masturbate?” I repeat with no change of emotion.
“Umm, why?”
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Sean. It’s just a question.”
“Well… why do you want to know that? What does that have to do with anything?”
“I think it could have a lot to do with your situation. So, do you?”
Sean moves around in his seat like there’s needles in it before answering. “Not really, no.”
“Why not?” I inquire, just before writing his answer in my notepad.
“It’s just not for me,” Sean says. “And Becky doesn't really like it when I do.”
There's the answer I was waiting for.
“I see. So, which of those two reasons means more to you?” Sean’s eyes start roaming, so I continue. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but Becky’s opinion is the real reason you don't masturbate. Is that right?”
Sean sighs. “Sure. That’s right.”
“I understand,” I say, hoping to keep Sean from becoming defensive about my critique of his girlfriend. “But Becky also doesn't like it when you come too fast, correct?”
“Well, of course not,” Sean answers.
“Okay, well I have a prescription for you, and it’s masturbation.”
“What?”
“You need to masturbate, Sean,” I surge forward. “Not only is masturbation a healthy and important part of adult life, it’s also a great way to practice orgasm control. This is only our second session, but both times we’ve met, you've told me about how you've orgasmed before Becky was ready for you to. Before you were ready to. But, if you were to masturbate two or three hours before you have sex, it’d make it more difficult for you to come because the sensitivity would be lessened.”
Sean tilts his head again, letting my words dance around in his mind before settling on a question for me. “But sometimes we have sex without knowing it’s coming. What if I do masturbate, and we end up not even having sex?”
“Then it’s still helpful for you,” I explain. “You’ll have to learn what works for you, but most people masturbate to pornographic material, and seeing women’s breasts and the motions and sounds of sex while masturbating can help you mentally as well as physically. If you have pictures or videos of Becky, I recommend you use those, this way you won’t be strongly affected by the sight of Becky grinding on top of you. Plus, you're less likely to offend Becky if the images you masturbate to are images of her. You can literally practice speeding up and slowing down, controlling when you orgasm. Over time, you can make it to where you don't come until you want to. Imagine being able to make Becky orgasm twice, three times, before you decide to come. This is a skill most men don't have.”
Sean’s face lights up at the thought of watching the love of his life having orgasm after orgasm without ever having to worry about coming by accident. It’s a skill everyone wishes they had, but so few do. But, as quickly as Sean’s smile came, it’s replaced by a look of concern.
“But, what about Becky?” Sean asks. “She doesn't like it. She’d be pissed if she found out I was beating off all the time.”
“Well, like I said, if you have videos of Becky, you should use those, but ultimately this goes back to things we have no right to. Just like you don't have the right to judge Becky for her private thoughts because they are hers, Becky has no right to judge you for what you do with your own body. It’s yours, Sean. You can do what you want with it. Now, that doesn't mean there aren't any consequences to your choices, but your body is yours to do with what you want.”
“I understand that, but that doesn't mean she won't be pissed,” Sean argues.
I nod my head. “That may be true, and maybe that means you need