her brow.
I clear my throat. “But you just got off. They can't leave you alone or what? Is it Dr. Bishop?”
Becky’s furrowed brow turns into a full mountain with deep ridges of annoyance. “Dr. Bishop? No, it’s not Dr. Bishop. Where did that come from? It’s just John sending me the spreadsheet I asked for during the staff meeting. You know, John, the hospital administrator? Why would you think it’s Dr. Bishop?”
I feel my stomach doing backflips as I scramble for an answer. “Umm, I don't know. His name was the first one that popped into my mind.”
“Seriously? Why him?”
“I don't know,” I reply as fast as I can. I have to mend this in a hurry, otherwise, there won’t be any sex tonight at all and the only orgasm I’ll have had will be the one I gave myself. I don't like the sound of that. “It’s not that I was thinking about him in particular. I’m not accusing you of anything. I just thought of him first, that’s all. It's no big deal.”
Becky looks at me like she doesn't believe a word I’m saying, and I can't help thinking about how secrets murder relationships. If I communicated my suspicions and insecurities about Dr. Bishop, we could resolve the issue. Instead of wondering and filling in the blanks on my own, Becky could tell me everything I don't know. There would be no need to drive myself insane. But the feeling inside me wins again, and I choke it all back down.
“You sure it’s no big deal, Sean?” Becky asks, still frowning. “Because it seemed like you had your mind made up that it was him.”
“What? No, it’s not like that at all, I promise,” I lie. What a load of crap. “Let’s just drop it, because it’s not that serious.”
Becky glares at me for a second longer before letting it go, and looking back to the TV. I go back to the show as well, but I keep sneaking glances at her to make sure she’s not pissed.
After the food is done, the movie keeps playing. So that Becky doesn't have to lift a finger after I almost ruined the evening, I make sure to grab all of our trash and throw it away.
From the kitchen, I look into the living room and see Becky on the couch with her feet tucked underneath her body. She looks so beautiful it’s hard not to be insecure. I’m the luckiest man in the world because I get to call her mine. I get to go to bed with this gorgeous woman every single night, and she sticks with me, even when I’m struggling to perform sexually. She deserves better. She deserves more. She deserves to have her needs met one hundred percent, and I’ll be damned if some asshole who already broke his ex-wife’s heart tries to sneak in and do the same thing to my woman.
Before I go back into the living room, I open the cabinet and grab two wine glasses. Next, I grab a bottle of white wine, and make my way back into the living room, where I hand Becky a glass and sit next to her, our hips touching. Becky lets me fill up her glass before I fill my own, and we go back to the movie without saying anything.
She doesn't know it, but tonight’s the night. I don't feel fatigued. I don't feel worn out from the masturbation. In fact, I want her as if I never masturbated at all. I feel great. So far, so good, Dr. Colson.
17
~ Sean ~
An hour after we eat and have a few glasses of wine. Becky and I start making our way to the bedroom. The glasses find themselves in the sink, the TV is turned off, and as I turn off the lights on my way to the room, I feel a little bit of a buzz from the wine.
I’m not the type of guy who can’t get hard after a few drinks. I’m the other kind of guy—the one who is ready for sex the second the buzz kicks in. Alcohol makes me feel like Superman. It does nothing for my stamina, but it certainly puts me in the mood. Mix that with the fact that I followed the doctor’s orders and masturbated nearly three hours ago, and you get yourself one confident man.
Becky walks in front of me, leading the way to the room. I watch her from behind as she plays with