and I feel like we’ve suddenly switched roles. Am I the patient now?
“You're right, Ava,” I begin, although I can't believe what I'm about to say. “I crossed a line with you that I shouldn't have, but I can't go back now. You're right that I want you all the time, including right now. You’re right that I love fucking you, and you're right that your desire to have me control you turns me on. However, I love my job, and I can't lose it because of you. This job is everything to me. So, this is over.”
Ava doesn't move. Her body remains perfectly still, but I see something shift in her eyes before she asks, “What’s over?”
I let out a long sigh. “Our relationship as therapist and patient. I can't be your therapist if we’re going to continue sleeping together, and we are going to continue sleeping together. This will be our last session, and the next time I see you, it’ll be in my bedroom. You’ll be on your knees with your hair in a ponytail, and you'll be waiting for me. You'll be waiting to give me complete control over you, and I’ll be ready to take it.
“This is the end of our professional relationship, and the beginning of a personal one. I’m not saying we’re dating, or that we’re boyfriend and girlfriend. I’m just saying we’re going to fulfill each other's needs, because it’s taking every ounce of my strength not to make you bend over that couch and spread your ass apart for me, and I’m tired of fighting urges.”
Ava smiles the way she does when she knows she’s done something I like, before licking her lips. “Sounds good to me. So, Dr. Colson…”
“Don't call me Dr. Colson anymore,” I demand. “I’m not your therapist anymore, so just call me Malcolm.”
“Okay, Malcolm,” Ava says, correcting herself with a satisfied smile. “What would like you me to do now?”
“Leave,” I say, fighting back my own smile. “Say goodbye to Keisha, and leave. Drive to my house, and go in. My backdoor is unlocked, so go through the fence in the backyard to get in. From there, you’ll go upstairs, tie your hair into a ponytail, kneel in front of my bed, and wait for me. You won't leave, no matter how long it takes for me to get there. Do you understand?”
Without the slightest hesitation, Ava gets up from her spot on the couch—the place she sat when we first met—and starts towards the door.
“Yes, sir,” she says just as she begins to walk. When she reaches the door, I stop her.
“Ava,” I say. She turns around with her hand still on the handle. “When I get there, don't have any clothes on.”
Ava smiles and nods. “Yes, sir.”
Once she's gone, I stand up to go back to my computer, stopping only to adjust myself in my pants, because the thought of Ava waiting for me stiffens my cock. At the computer, I go to the folder containing Ava’s file. I don't open it, because I don't want to see anything I’ve written about her since she walked into my office just over two months ago. It’ll just make this harder. Instead, I right-click on the folder, slide my mouse down, and click delete. I watch her file disappear, just before the intercom blares with the sound of Keisha’s voice.
“Dr. Colson,” she says. “Will that be all for today?”
“Umm, just one more thing, Keisha. Please delete all future sessions with Ava from the calendar. Our time together has been terminated,” I reply, just as I shut off the computer and grab my coat. “After that, we’re all set, and I’ll see you on Monday.”
As I put my coat on, I think about the decision I just made. By removing Ava from my client list, I’ve eliminated the threat of losing my license, but that doesn't mean I’ve removed all threats when it comes to Ava. I know who she is, and I know what I’m subjecting myself to, but I feel ready for it. I find peace in knowing I won’t have to fight back everything I feel from now on, because until I can be honest with myself about Ava and do what I want, how can I really know how I feel about her? I’ve been fighting urges for her for so long, being free from those shackles is going to be like diving into an entirely new world, and I’m beyond ready to take