including the flowers worn by the hinds, the remains of last year’s yule log, and other wood gathered from the forest and piled at the edge of the clearing. It was a symbol of new beginnings, of offering the past to the sun and lingering in the warmth of the season.
Beating the drum was an honor, and Finley could not refuse it. “Of course, Da.” He passed Rory as he walked toward the drum. He bumped his flank up against Finley. “Love you, Dad.” He patted Rory’s side, gently. On the one hand, he was thrilled to be having a new brother or sister, or both. But on the other, they might or might not have mates when they grew up, depending on how the other births went. They had no idea what the next generation would be up against, but surely it had to be a better future.
Finley sat beside the drum, and when Donner signaled, he began beating a steady rhythm. Donner lit the fire. The stags pranced around the fire, shaking their heads, and ringing their bells. After two trips around, they settled to the side, and Rory made two passes by himself. The hinds followed after him. Then they moved near the other stags while Donner danced Isla around, both in human form. Finley kept up the beat and ignored the sweat trickling down the side of his face.
The night was peaceful. The stars danced to Finley’s beat high above their heads. As the stags shifted to human and tossed aside their bells, Finley kept up his soft rhythm. He hoped every day could be as nice as celebrating with his family. The only thing that would make it better would be if Ferdinand had joined in rather than staying hidden in the background. Ferdinand had been a part of their family. He had been with the herd at every celebration. If he hadn’t taken human form, he would probably have been running around the top of the drum, avoiding the drumstick as Finley beat it. His heart felt empty not having Ferdinand close.
After the flowers and the rest of the wood had been tossed on the fire, Finley set aside his drum and sought out Ferdinand. He found Ferdinand sitting by a small copse of saplings, cross-legged and frowning. Finley dropped beside him. “I missed you.” He reached out to take Ferdinand’s hand, but Ferdinand pulled away.
“Don’t. Please.” He held his hand to his chest as if he feared Finley would rip it off, and worse, he turned his head, refusing to make eye contact.
“Ferd, look at me.”
“No. I...”
“What did my dad say to you?” He reached out and touched Ferdinand’s knee.
“Nothing. He didn’t say anything, but I realized the truth.”
“Truth?”
“Yeah, the truth. I’ve known you forever, but I’m not a deer. Not a part of this herd.”
“That’s bullshit. You’re a part of this. You’re family. You’ve always been here. Hell, you were here before me.” He squeezed Ferdinand’s knee, reassuringly, but Ferdinand stood up, breaking their contact. Finley jumped to his feet. “Don’t be like this. I need you.”
“No, you don’t. You need another deer. Even if you cross species. You don’t need me. I’m going to just go.” Ferdinand turned, and in a blink of Finley’s eye, he disappeared.
Finley started as if to go after him, but he hadn’t simply walked away, and there was no way to follow him. He glanced around the bonfire. Everyone was paired off. Ellas stroked Alana’s back. Rocco fed Emma something from his hand that looked suspiciously like sugar cubes. And Donner. Donner lounged beside Rory next to the fire.
And Finley stood there—alone. Again. “What did you do?” he roared. “What did you say to him? This is so unfair.”
“Finley, calm down.” Donner slowly rose to his feet, reaching out as if he was offering comfort, but Finley would have none of that.
He jerked back. “No, don’t tell me to calm down. He’s gone, and it’s because of you and what you said.”
“I didn’t say anything to him.”
“You did. You told him to leave. You told him that he was not a deer and had no business here. And that is bullshit. You don’t get it. You don’t understand. He was my only chance to not be alone.”
“That’s not a good reason to get into a relationship.” Donner stopped talking when Rory huffed, blowing a loud bellow from his nose. “Look, Fin. Before I met Rory, I thought I was the last red deer in the entire