it also felt surprisingly freeing to be in the apartment by myself. Almost like I was a real functioning adult. I only had myself and it made me feel proud.”
“So you didn’t miss me at all, then?” I teased her, but a part of me was sad at what she’d said. Both of us were changing. We were growing up, becoming women instead of girls, and it scared the hell out of me.
“Of course I missed you!” She laughed. “It’s not fun watching TV alone or eating alone, or even walking to the bar alone.” She looked over at me. “I know it’s good for us to grow up, but I’m not ready for our lives to go in separate directions.”
“Neither am I.”
“So what’s it like living with Wade? You make him sound like such an asshole, but I know that there has to be something positive to him. If you fell for him and slept with him, there has to be something more.”
“He makes me feel alive in a way that I never knew was possible. All these years I’ve been living, but I’ve never really been living, you know? He makes me enjoy mundane activities, he makes me feel happy to breathe the air. Everything seems so much grander, so much better. Even sparring with him makes me feel as if I’m floating through the sky. It’s kinda crazy the way he makes me feel. I must be crazy for still being here after all the weirdness that’s going on.”
“It sounds amazing.” Lucy’s voice was wistful. “I want a man that makes me feel alive.”
“Don’t forget the crazy part as well.” I laughed.
“It reminds me of that quote from Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier. Let me think, how did it go again? ‘It wouldn't make for sanity, would it, living with the devil.’ Yes, that was it.”
“Oh, I don’t remember that one, but yes, it’s true. You know which quote from Rebecca springs to my mind?”
“No, tell me.”
“‘If only there could be an invention that bottled up a memory, like scent. And it never faded, and it never got stale. And then, when one wanted it, the bottle could be uncorked, and it would be like living the moment all over again.’” I walked along the pathway as I quoted from the book. “I understand now. I understand why some people want to stop time or bottle a memory. That night with him. The way he touched me, the way he kissed me, the feeling of him inside of me, it was magic. I never wanted it to end. I could have died with him in me and been in bliss.”
“Oh, Savannah, you’re so far gone, aren’t you?”
“So far.”
“We need to figure out what’s going on. I don’t want you madly and deeply in love with a bad man.”
I stopped short and turned to her. “Oh, Lucy, what if he’s a bad man? What if he’s a really bad man?”
“Then you’ll leave with me.” Her voice was firm. “I know you’re being all romantic and sappy now, but there’s no way on God’s green earth that I’m leaving you with a psycho.”
“What if I won’t go?”
“I’ll pick you up, kicking and screaming.”
“You really are good people, aren’t you, Lucy?”
“Nah, I’m just your best friend. You’d do the same for me.”
“I would.” I caught my breath and looked around for Jolene. “Jolene, come on girl, let’s go back inside.”
Jolene was ahead of us, sniffing at something in the trees. I whistled for her. Beside me, Lucy stretched. I could tell that she was tired. I had a feeling that we wouldn’t be having wine tonight, but that was okay. We always had tomorrow.
“Jolene, come now!” I called again, my voice firmer this time. “We’re going back inside.” Jolene looked up, her expression disappointed as she reluctantly walked back to me. I bent down to rub her between the ears as she reached me and then froze as I heard the sound of branches snapping. I looked up at Lucy. “Did you hear that?”
Lucy nodded, looking a little nervous. “Are there bears in these woods?”
“Girl, I have no idea.” I put my fingers to my lips to tell her to be quiet and we listened some more. I heard the sound of more snapping branches and then a loud bang.
“What the hell was that?” Lucy’s eyes were wide and I could feel all the blood leaving my face.
“I have no idea, but we need to go back inside now.” I