really looked at him, as if really seeing him for the first time. His bright eyes glittered with an inner turmoil and the smile on his face seemed forced. “How is that, by the way? I suppose it takes a toll on you? Trying to make it in such a competitive field.”
“Do you want the honest answer?” He half-smiled. “Or the one I give to people that don’t know how to deal with the truth?”
“The honest answer.” But even as I said it, I knew I was half lying. It was hard hearing about people’s struggles. It was hard hearing about people’s hurt and it was hard to know how to respond. I wanted the truth, but I also knew that it could be very painful to hear.
“I feel like a loser.” There was no smile on his face now. “My whole life, I’ve never felt quite good enough, and now ...” He looked out of the window for a few seconds. “There’s nothing like not making it to confirm that what you’ve thought your whole life is true.”
“You’re not a loser, though. You’re so talented.” I leaned forward and squeezed his hand. “I’ve seen you perform and I wouldn’t lie to you. You’re really talented.”
“Thank you.” He looked back at me, his green eyes shining, and I wondered if he was close to tears. “I don’t tell many people this, but I suffer from depression. I guess it goes back to my childhood.” He shrugged. “There are some days that are so dark that I can’t get out of my head, and I just want to be anywhere but here.”
“Here as in Herne Hill Village?”
“Here as in my own body.” He tapped his fingers against the table. “I guess I’ve always been searching, hoping, wanting more.” Suddenly he stopped and his eyes sought mine, searching and connecting. I stared back at him, feeling the emotions pass through us. “You’ve got a kind soul, Savannah. You’re a warm person. You don’t deserve to be messed up in this.”
“Messed up in what?” I smiled. “You’re my friend and I’m here for you, Gordon.”
“I know.” He chewed on his lower lip. “I just don’t want you to think ...” His voice trailed off and he took a deep breath. “Man, I’m hungry. Where’s this food?”
“They can be a little slow here.” I grinned. “The first time I came here with Wade, I was wondering if I was in the Twilight Zone.” I laughed. “I asked for lasagna, ordered a burger, and was served a grilled cheese.”
“Oh shit, that means today we get pickled herrings or something.”
“Eww, gross!”
“Not if you’re Scandinavian. They love that stuff.”
“It’s a good thing I’m not then, isn’t it?” I grinned. “Though I think Lucy, my best friend, has some Swedish in her. I’m so excited for you to meet, Lucy. I think you’ll get on really well.”
“Wade’s okay with her coming?”
“He doesn’t know.”
“Oh.” Gordon’s smile widened. “What the captain doesn’t know can’t hurt him, huh?”
“Captain?” I laughed. “I guess he does think he’s the captain of his ship, doesn’t he?”
“Yes, he does.” Gordon spoke with so much knowledge that suddenly it struck me that he seemed to have a lot of opinions about someone he’d never even met. And once again a sense of foreboding hit me.
I shivered as I looked down at the table, repressing the urge to scream. How the hell had I found myself in some sort of scary thriller type situation? I was the romantic comedy girl. You couldn’t pay me to watch a horror movie and yet, here I was, in the middle of some sort of low-budget Lifetime movie, and I was as clueless as all of the heroines.
I truly had no idea who in my life was good and who was bad.
Chapter 4
“Welcome to the Hart house.” I held my hands up in the air as Gordon got out of his car and walked towards me. It was silly to sound so proud, as if it were my house, but for some reason I wanted Gordon to like it.
“Amazing. It’s big, isn’t it?” Gordon looked around. “Though I’d expect nothing different from Wade Hart. It must be grand to be him.”
“Indeed it must.” I nodded and walked toward the door. “Come in and I’ll give you a tour.”
As I opened the front door, my phone beeped. I waited for Gordon to walk inside before I checked it and my heart leaped when I saw Wade’s name on the screen. So he