kicking at me like the madwoman she is. She’s no match for me or my determination to get this over with so that I never have to look at her again. I twist her arm behind her back and she cries out in pain, the gun dropping to the floor with a thud. She starts screaming for help.
“Scream, cunt! Fucking scream! There isn’t anyone out there who is willing to help you. Even your son. You remember him don’t you? The son you tried to destroy right along with your daughter by fucking trying to destroy her, break her? You are so fucking stupid. All your planning, all your bullshit lies, your deceit and the ultimate betrayal to your family… it stops right here, right now.”
I point to the sliding glass window where Zack stands, his shadow cast by the dim light inside the house.
“See that? He’s going to watch me fucking kill you. And you know what else? He’s going to walk away from here and fucking sleep so damn good tonight just like I will, knowing this world has been rid of you.”
“You... you won’t get away with this!” she protests, her voice shaking with fear.
“You won’t be around to see if I do.”
I push her forward and she stumbles. I grip her tighter and slam her face up against the glass. Her cheek lays flush against it.
“Look at him!” I scream. My other arm comes up and grips her chin, jerking her face until she has no choice. “Don’t you dare close your eyes, Tina! Take a good, hard look.”
She swallows. Her lips start to tremble. Zack steps forward, his stare lethal. He just stands there and stares at this sick creature. I nod once. I’m done. Her filthy stench is enough for me to finish this.
Unexpectedly her leg comes back, catching me off guard as she somehow manages to kick me in the knee. I stumble backwards only to regain myself as she scrambles onto the floor headed for the gun. My foot dangles over her hand just as she goes to grab it. I slam my foot down as hard as I can, and the crunching of broken bones echoes through the room as she lets out a bloodcurdling scream.
“It’s over.”
I kneel over her, pull her up by the lapels of her now wrinkled suit, and slam her up against the wall. I don’t care anymore about the deal I have made to bring her in. What I’m about to do is for Clove, for my brother, and for every other person I have wronged. This is my redemption, my peace of mind. The only way I will be able to forgive myself is by killing this fucking cunt. And so I do.
I wrap my hands around her throat and lift her in the air and squeeze. Her hands go to mine, grappling, desperately trying to get me to release her. I just tighten my grip even further, watching her eyes bulge, her lips quiver, her face turn red.
“How does it feel to be trapped with no way out? To feel the life being sucked right out of you? To know that at any moment, you are going to die?”
She slowly sags in defeat, her body shutting down, shaking uncontrollably. Her hands fall lifelessly to her sides, her body going slack, but I don’t stop. I don’t stop, until I feel a hand on my shoulder. Zack.
One by one, I pry my fingers from her crushed throat and her body drops to the floor. Zack cuffs me and marches me outside, where I breathe what I know will be one of my last breaths of fresh air for a long time. I don’t even look back.
This all started out as a game to me. A game in which I would have a life where I never had to worry about food, shelter, or how I was simply going to fucking survive from one day to the next. I never expected to fall in love with Clove. And yet I did. I didn’t lose that game. I won.
Now six months later, I lay here in my prison cell waiting for my monthly visit from my mother. I still dream of Clove every night, think about her every day. Turner was right when he said she is pure. She is. And now she is safe.
I pray that my brother can someday, somehow forgive me. It’s a prayer I know will never be answered. I hold on to