to meet him where he asked me to. My gut was telling me to call Zack, but instead, I pulled up to the dark parking lot by myself. That was the biggest mistake I have made or ever will make in my life.
It didn’t feel like a mistake at the time, though, as I climbed out of my car and stared at the man who looked exactly like me. Fuck, I was shocked, and thrilled, and pissed off at the same time. I couldn’t believe I had a brother, an identical twin. It blew my mind.
We stood there talking for the longest time. He told me our father never really talked much about the divorce and he had just found out about me when the man had broken down and confessed he had another son.
Trent went searching for me right away, he claimed. Said it wasn’t hard to find me since I was still living in the same place I grew up and mom was still living in the same house. I was so overjoyed with this news that I never even gave a second thought as to how in the hell he just happened to be there in the same city as I was, since I was there on a business trip.
Hugging my brother was the last thing I remember until I woke up in that shit hole where I was beaten within an inch of my life the minute my eyes opened. I was in and out of consciousness for days, and every time I awoke, a man I didn’t even know existed was screaming and yelling at me about twenty million dollars.
“Goddamn it!”
I heave the bottle of booze into the yard and scream for my wife.
“Turner.”
The sound of my mother’s voice echoes throughout the night.
“I’m fine, Mom.”
She comes out and stands beside me.
“I’m worried about you, son.”
Reaching out she pulls me in for a hug, soothing me just like she did when I was growing up.
“I miss her so damn much, Mom. I know she’s out there somewhere. It’s killing me not being able to do anything to help her like she tried to help me.”
My shoulders start to shake and I cry like a baby while she cocoons me in her arms. I’m a grown man, but being surrounded by my mother is the only thing I need when I get like this.
“Come on. Don’t you dare blame yourself, do you hear me, Turner Calloway?”
How can I not? It’s all my fault. No matter how many times the psychiatrist who has been coming over to the house twice a week now instead of once tells me it isn’t, I will always blame myself. I will never give up trying to find Clove. Never.
A part of me wishes I had died that day. My life is empty without her. Nothing I do feels right. I hate climbing out of bed in the morning, knowing the reality of the day I have to face. I hate getting in bed at night knowing she isn’t there beside me so I can hold her, make love to her, and keep her safe.
Instead, she’s somewhere out there with a man who is hell bent on making her his own. Clove would never deceive me in that way. She loves me, this I know with every breath I take. But Trent? God knows what the hell he has done to her over the course of a year.
“We all miss her, son. I blame myself too, you know. I think all of us do.”
“You shouldn’t blame yourself, Mom. You had no choice.”
She releases her hold on me and shuffles her feet back a few steps.
“That’s where you’re wrong, Turner. I… I did have a choice. And I chose you and your safety. I have lived with that every day since the day James left here, taking the other half of my heart with him when he took your brother. I was a foolish, scared woman. I gave up one child for another. That makes me the person to blame. Not you, not anyone else, just me.”
“No, Mom.” I bring her back into my arms. “I never want to hear you say anything like that again. James threatened you. You did the only thing you could.”
“There’s nothing we can do about the choices I made. I have lived with my guilt and I will die with it. It’s my burden to bear. Now, it’s getting late. Go get some rest.”
Mom releases her hold on