each of them. “We’re not supposed to pet him, right?” Mason checks.
“You can,” Ranger answers. “Generally no with a service dog, but since Benny is technically always on duty, and you’re not a stranger, I’m okay with it.”
Mason grins, crouching and scratching Benny’s favorite spot behind his ears.
I’ve never been on a sailboat—or any kind of boat for that matter—and it turns out they’re not exactly easy to get onto.
“Isn’t there supposed to be some kind of ramp?” I wobble with one foot on the dock, the other on the side of the boat. Ranger and Benny went ahead of me; both of them got on without any trouble. I may be overthinking it.
“We’re not that fancy around here,” Ranger jokes, offering me his hand.
“If you let me fall into the water, I’ll have to do terrible things to you.” I let go of the docking post, or whatever it’s called, and fling myself into the boat.
He catches me with ease, and I let out a relieved breath.
“What kinds of terrible things would you do?” he murmurs.
“Um, I’m not sure. Maybe I could bite you or something?”
“Bite me?” Ranger laughs. “Fuck, you’re adorable. You know that, right?”
“Yes, I am well aware of my charms.” I grin and kiss him, then find a place to sit next to Gunner and Mason while the brothers get this baby moving.
“He really is like a different person since he met you,” Gunner says quietly. “It’s good to see him so happy.”
“He’s been good for me too.” It’s not lip service. I don’t know what I would’ve done this past month if it wasn’t for Ranger. But more than just the help he’s given me, he’s made me feel special and happy, and…yup, there’s that L-word again creeping its way to the front of my mind.
He’s clearly in his element, pulling on ropes and checking things while Lucky unties the cable anchoring us to the dock. He catches me watching and shoots me a wink and a smile that makes my heart flutter.
33
Ranger
We take the boat out of the harbor on the engine, maneuvering slowly to avoid all the other water traffic. It’s a gorgeous day, and we’re far from the only ones seeking some relief from the scorching temperatures on the water. The danger is that on days like these, the newbies venture out as well—would-be sailors who’ve steered a boat once or twice and now think they’re ready to take her out by themselves. Spoiler alert: they’re not.
I handle the engine while Lucky is at the wheel, keeping a close eye on what happens around us and getting out of harm’s way. Benny is at my feet or, more accurately, on my feet, and Julian is chatting with Mason and Heart. He looks happy, and my nerves over this outing ease a little bit.
I want him to like Lucky and his men, and I want them to love him as much as I do. Like him, I mean. I frown. It’s way too soon to talk about love. Falling in love doesn’t happen that fast. Does it? It can’t. I’ve only known him for a few weeks. Okay, months, but still. Love doesn’t develop that quickly. Love needs time to grow. I think. Not something I want to dwell on now, not while I need to concentrate…and while Julian is nearby.
We’re finally past most of the busy traffic on the water, and the Pacific Ocean stretches out before us, endless and inviting in her majestic beauty. My dad often joked that he’d expected me to join the Navy, not the Army, and he wasn’t wrong. I love the water, always have. But Lucky had announced he wanted to join the Marines when he was, like, thirteen, and I chose the Army. Was I comparing myself to him even back then?
With my head leaned back and my eyes closed for a moment, I let the sun warm my face, a gentle breeze offering a welcome relief. It’s been way too long since I was out on the water. The last time was with Lucky and his men, over a year ago. Wow. I can’t believe I didn’t set foot on a boat for that long.
More and more, I realize PTSD is bigger than the triggers and the flashbacks and the anxiety and shit. It’s affected my mental energy in a big way, making me want to curl up into a ball and sleep. It’s only been lately that I’ve not only had the physical