my boyfriend’s oral skills?”
“More, like, tips?” I say sheepishly.
“Ranger, I know for a fact you’ve had blow jobs. I was there quite a few times. So why on earth would you need me to give you tips on… Oh. Oh.”
I take a deep breath. “I’m bi.”
“You’re bi.”
“Yes. Pretty sure.”
“We’ve known each other for how long now? Twenty-two years?”
We met in high school and became instant best friends, so that sounds about right. “Yeah.”
“And you’ve waited this long to tell me you’re bi when I could’ve done all my experimenting with you rather than with Nick Williamson? The fuck, man?”
It’s a classic David reaction, and I can’t help but laugh. “Sorry. I was a little slow.”
“Yeah, I’ll say. I’ve lusted after you for years, so this is highly disappointing.”
“You’ve lusted after me?”
“God, Ranger, have you seen yourself? Every person on the planet would kill to sleep with you, straight, bi, gay, or anything else. But rest assured, it was a safe lusting. Nothing I would’ve ever acted on in person. Though if you’re declaring your undying love for me, I’ll jump into the car right now and show up on your doorstep within two hours. Naked and horny as fuck. What do you say?”
And this is why we’re best friends. He has the unique skill of breaking the tension and making everything seem lighter and easier. “Tempting, but no,” I say with a smile.
“Bummer. But why the shift in sexual orientation?”
The laugh on my lips fades. “I met someone…and lost him.”
“Oh, Mack…” David’s tone changes instantly, and his words wrap around me like a hug. “I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah. He was… He was special.” I clear my throat. “Anyway, so… Yeah, bisexual.”
“Welcome to the rainbow, man. I love having you…and your brother must’ve been thrilled.”
“I think he’s more relieved that I’m doing better.”
“Are you? Doing better, I mean?”
“Yes. Yes, I am. Lucky hooked me up with a charity that provides vets with a service dog, and that’s how I got Benny. I’ll send you a pic after, but he’s a golden retriever, and he’s become my best buddy. I’m working with his trainer, Julian, and it’s been a lifechanger for me.”
“And I’m gonna take a wild guess and say Julian is gay? And single?”
I’m not even gonna ask how he knows. We’re talking about a man who reads people for a living and is basically the human equivalent of a lie detector. “Yeah. I’m not ready for a relationship, but I’m hoping to have some fun with him. The kind of fun where we take our clothes off. And when we do, I don’t wanna look like an idiot who doesn’t know what he’s doing…”
“And you don’t want to talk sex with your brother,” David says, sounding like he completely understands. “Even though he’s in a relationship with a former porn star who knows more about sex than anyone we know.”
Okay, so maybe he doesn’t.
For a fleeting moment I consider reaching out to Heart, but then reality sets in. I can’t do that. I don’t know him well enough to know how he feels about his porn star career, so asking him may stir up all kinds of bad memories. I won’t do that to him. Besides, I’m not sure how Lucky would feel about being reminded of his boyfriend’s past. He’s never seemed to have an issue with it, but I’m not causing trouble for him if I can prevent it.
“Yeah.”
“Okay, I get it. You’ve come to the right place because there’s little I don’t know about gay sex. Hit me with it.”
A few years from now, I may look back on this conversation and see the humor in it, but right now, I’m ten kinds of mortified. But not embarrassed enough to forget about the whole thing. “I’ve watched plenty of gay porn, so I’m well aware of the mechanics of it.”
“Porn isn’t realistic. I hope you know that. They skip a lot of important steps, like consent and prep.”
I nod, even though David can’t see that. “Right. I’d gathered as much. But I have a different question. How do you determine…roles? How do you bring that up?”
“Good question,” David says and his serious tone makes clear he’s not gonna give me grief over this, bless him. “The biggest mistake you can make is assuming. Just because someone has a certain body type doesn’t mean they prefer the role associated with that. Like me, I mostly prefer to top, even though I’m often mistaken for a bottom.”
I cringe. Did I