and all his friends there as well. I would love nothing more than to keep him there, but I can’t afford it. I just don’t have the money. I am so behind on the bills there that I didn’t have any choice but to take him out. He’s done nothing but cry ever since that day, and it’s making me feel horrific. I absolutely despise the situation we are in, but I don’t see how I can get out of it.
We are in deep now, too deep, and I honestly can’t see a way around it. All I want to do is climb out of this hole, but I can’t find the first step. It’s a nightmare.
“We have to do school at home at the moment, Travis,” I finally tell my son through gritted teeth. “This is all we have at the moment. If I can get you back into that school, then you know I will.”
My son tilts his head to one side and stares at me with curious eyes. I really need to remember that he is only six years old and doesn’t understand these adult problems. I need to keep as much of it away from him as I can. It isn’t his fault that he’s the only person I have to talk to around here.
“Now have you completed that math sheet yet?” I step over to him and have a look at what he has done. Unfortunately, I’m so exhausted that I can hardly see the words and numbers, never mind understand them. I blink a few times wondering how the hell I am even supposed to teach my son from home when I’m too tired to do anything. Tears boil up behind my eyes and I know they are about to fall at any given second, so I have to brush them away quickly, so Travis doesn’t see them. “Okay, I will mark this while you have a go at the English work I have set for you.”
I’m trying to balance this with the data entry that I’m still trying to complete at the same standard I have always been doing, but I’m failing at everything miserably. I’m stretched too thin to really focus on anything properly, which is a massive issue.
“Mommy?” All of a sudden Travis snaps me from my blurry focus. “Someone is knocking on the door. Should I go and answer it?”
I never know who it’s going to be at the other side of that door, I’m always worried that it’s going to be bay lifts or something like that.
“No, it’s okay Travis.” There is no way in hell I want him to be involved in anything like that. “You carry on. I will go and see who it is. You get that work done first.”
My heart pounds nervously as I walk towards the door. I think I might actually be shaking. Since things have been going so badly for me at the moment, I can only picture this as more bad news, something else to pile on my shoulders and to crush me, to stamp on me while I am down.
I swing the door open to see who is on the other side, and I’m actually shocked when it’s Marc from next door.
“Oh!” Oh my God, please tell me he isn’t here to ask me out on a date again. My resolve weakens every time he asks me out and I find it hard to keep saying no over and over again. “Hello, can I help you?”
“Hi, yes.” He nods slowly. “I’m out of sugar and don’t have time to pop to the store this morning before work. Is there any chance I could borrow some?”
I narrow my eyes curiously at him. This is weird, isn’t it? He’s a damn millionaire by the looks of it, even if he does still live in this small neighborhood, so why the hell would he need sugar from me? I can’t even damn well afford sugar! But I don’t want to be rude, and I also feel like I have been enough of a bitch to him already. I need to be polite.
“Err, sure, come in.” I step aside to let him in my home, wondering how badly he will judge me since it’s obvious I don’t really have anything and it’s clear that I’m struggling due to the mess. But I just haven’t had time to do much housework with everything else that’s going on. “I will go and see what I have.”
My