does turn out that I’m good at it, it’s because of you.”
His words, his confidence, it makes me feel a million times better about my decision. Just having him believe in me like this is incredible. It makes me feel so happy and it also makes the dream of me having a baby of my own that much more real.
“Have you asked this mystery lady of yours... I don’t even know her name actually...”
“Aisha,” I declare proudly. “And her son is called Travis.”
Now I’m thinking about my father meeting them, about them all coming together and making my family even bigger. Since I have been on my own for such a long time, this idea is absolutely intoxicating.
“Right, have you asked Aisha about what she thinks of having a child? You said that she already has one, so is she ready for another? You have to remember this isn’t just your choice.”
“I haven’t yet. It’s just an idea that I’ve been playing with in my mind. But I will. As soon as the timing is right, I will, and I’ll see what happens from there. But I’m ready now. I’m really ready.”
“That is so wonderful to hear. And I have to admit you sound much happier than I have heard you in a very long time. You always tell me that you’re happy, but to me even though I’m here in England, I feel like something must be missing. Now it sounds like you are the most complete you have been in a very long time.”
“Yeah, you’re right. That’s how I feel.” I nod as I accept this. “I’ve always thought that I was happy, but now I really do feel it. There is so much difference in my life, and I’m happy about it.”
“Good. Because you know that’s all I want for you.”
We talk for a little while longer about this and I can practically hear the pride rolling off my father’s tongue. He is clearly over the moon with this new development in my life. To just know that I am ready for the next step and that I’m finally opening up after Chloe, finally ready to meet someone for real, and to consider marriage and babies... well, it’s big and he’s excited for me just like I am for myself. It’s nice to know that despite the distance we can still share our emotions. That part hasn’t changed.
Eventually, we say our goodbyes and hang up the phone, and as soon as it’s done, I smile to myself and think about really putting that question to Aisha. I know now it might be too soon, I understand that it might scare her a bit, but if I just put the question out there and ask for an answer, surely it will be fine. I don’t intend to put any pressure on, I just would like to know what’s in her mind.
I really do feel like Aisha is silently on the same page as me. We haven’t talked about it, but I can see it in her eyes. Neither of us are saying it, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. I had my gut instincts about Aisha and her feelings for me before, and it turns out I was right, so I think despite all of her walls around her I can read her well. I like being able to read her well, it makes me feel like I have a part of her with me at all times. Like I know her better than anyone else does.
As I leave the office, I even head to the nearby flower store and pick up a bunch for Aisha because I want this day to be as perfect as possible. I want her to be as happy as me. I get take-out food as well so that we can have a relaxed calm evening together. At least we can when Travis goes to sleep. That boy doesn’t know calm... not that I mind. I love his constant stream of activity. I must love it for sure if I’m thinking about adding to it with yet another child! I just can’t help but hope that Aisha feels the same way. I would love it if she wanted a baby with me. That would be perfect, wouldn’t it? Just a dream come true. A real wonderful happy ever after.
I get so lost in the dream that I don’t even notice a drama going on around my house until I practically pull up