as I finally make a decision. My heart is going to win out, I just know it. There is no way I can even attempt to work when my head is next door. Even if it does risk everything I have to go and see her. “Come on, man up.”
The journey to Aisha’s house is only a few steps, but it feels endless as I do it. Each step is heavy and full of weight, terrifying to make. But of course, I make it eventually, there is no fear in the world to hold me back.
I knock quickly before the fear can overtake me, and I hear a scuffling behind the front door before someone opens it. It means Aisha is in and hasn’t run off like I feared she might have done. Although I have to admit, I don’t know what that means...
“Oh, Marc.” She gives me a bit of a strange look which I don’t know how to take. I really hope this isn’t a bad sign. “Sorry, I know I haven’t been in touch, it’s been a bit of a mad time...”
“I see.” I’m just trying to make things easier for her. “Is there anything I can help with?”
“No, thank you.” She shuts me down far too quickly. That makes me suspicious. “I can handle it...”
“Are you sure?” I narrow my eyes curiously at her. “Because even if you just need to talk about it, I can be here for you...”
“I...” She grips on to the door frame so tightly her knuckles turn a funny shade of white. “I don’t think this is something I can talk about. I just need to get sorted that’s all. I just need some time...”
“Marc!” Thankfully, Travis hears me and comes to greet me which gives me more time with them. “Come in and see what I have done with my cars. I made them a garage to play with. You will like it...”
“You did? That sounds amazing.”
I allow him to drag me through the house even though I’m not sure what Aisha thinks about this. She is up tight and irritated with me right now, but I’m sure she will calm down as she always does. She just needs time and that’s what Travis has given us. He doesn’t know it yet, but he has basically saved us for the moment. He has made sure it isn’t too awkward for us to speak.
Not knowing what is upsetting her is a bit much for me, but I’m willing to be patient and to see when she is ready to talk to me. Even if it means I will have to weather whatever mood she’s going through right now. At least I have Travis to play with and to distract us both from the tension. He really is saving us right now...
“I’m sorry for staying too long,” I tell Aisha just before I leave. “I just got so carried away playing with Travis and the cars.”
“No, it’s fine,” she replies flatly. “I understand. I know how much Travis likes having you around. But I really do have to get on now, I have to get things sorted...”
I should hold back, I shouldn’t say anything, but I can’t help myself. Something has snapped inside of me and I can’t switch it back off, nor can I dial it down.
“What’s going on, Aisha? Please tell me. I want to be able to help you.”
Immediately she stiffens up once more and her body language shuts me out completely. “I don’t need your help, Marc. I don’t want your help. This is something I need to do my own.”
“But you don’t have to do things on your own,” I insist. “I’m here for you...”
“I don’t need someone like you to be here for me.” Oh, God. I didn’t mean to, but I have really set her off. That was never my intention, I just wanted her to open up to me a little bit. “I don’t need anyone. I have done this on my own for so long, I don’t need you to step in and be the hero all the time.”
“That isn’t what I’m trying to do...”
“Life just comes easy for you, doesn’t it?” she snaps, completely ignoring me. “I don’t know anyone who can just buy a diamond necklace for someone that they have just met. Someone that they have just started dating. And toys for Travis as well. You might have had struggles in the past, but even when you were a child