he’s cute.” I shrugged at my half-ass answer. I couldn’t believe I’d just said that out loud.
“Oh, shit!” she chirped, sucking in a heap of air. My stomach did somersaults, similar to the way it did when I thought of Ashton Spencer. I fucking hated it all. “You like him, Tori?”
“I like Samantha, too.” I tried deflecting.
“Wait. So you like people now? You like-like her—them?” My announcement had my cousin stumbling over her words. “So, you think you go both ways? Fuck!” she grumbled. “This shit too much. That’s what the fuck be happening in college? They turn you freaky, and shit?”
Unable to hide my smile at the “freaky” mention—because Brielle’s concert with Ashton playing between my legs jumped to the front of my mind—all I could do was stare at her. “I don’t mean it like that. I still don’t know what I am, but I know I don’t like girls.”
Her forehead stretched and head shifted back. “So you like boys?”
I shook my head as I turned away. That was another question I couldn’t answer with certainty, but it made no sense. I liked Ashton, but I shouldn’t have. Not only was he confusing and frustrating, he had a girlfriend, and that wasn’t something I’d share with my cousin. She knew how I felt about cheating and cheaters.
“Do he like you, Tori?”
I shook my head. “We get along now, but nah. He doesn’t like me like that.”
“Then how does he like you?”
I shrugged as I thought about it. “He bought me a ticket to see Brielle last night.”
Her eyes flew wide as she sucked in a hefty breath again. I guessed I was dropping bombs tonight.
No.
I knew I was.
“You fuckin’ lying, bitch!”
Her elevated tone had my head whipping around the restaurant. Folks were looking our way already.
Still, I giggled and shook my head. “You know I’m not.”
“Bri-fucking-elle! He took you out on a date?”
Not exactly. “A bunch of his snobby friends went. Nope. No date.” That’s all I wanted to share about last night.
I couldn’t even tell her how I got home tonight. Doing that would require me revealing how I’d come home a few weeks ago blowing my travel allowance, but didn’t call or visit. I knew one day I’d tell Renata everything. Tonight wouldn’t be that time. I had to work through what was happening between Ashton and me first.
“Then if he don’t like you like that, how do he like you?”
Renata was making this hard. I exhaled, rolling my eyes to NeNe as though I was venting to her. “You ain’t notice my new clothes…shoes? These earrings?” I finally looked at Renata again. “My hair?”
“Oh, shit!” She covered her open mouth. “Them tracks I put in ya head. Good! You took ‘em out. Who did that?”
“The salon on campus. There’s a girl from Philly out there that does hair at the campus salon.”
“That school got a hair salon?”
I nodded, still playing with NeNe. “A nail salon and spa…cleaners run by students…barbershop, too.”
“Wait.” Her body was twisted so she faced me. “What do that Ashton got to do with that?”
I shrugged again. “He got it for me.” I wouldn’t look away from NeNe.
“He did what?” I heard the excitement in her voice. The shock.
I nodded, taking my time before looking at her again. “It’s not what you think. I’m only telling you the good. It ain’t been easy at Blakewood, but Ashton…” I didn’t know how to express it. “He’s been cool.”
“Shit! Instead of me making this move, I should be there!”
“What move?” My mood darkened.
Renata took a deep breath. “I’m going into the army.”
“Army?” I yelled, not giving a fuck about where we were.
I felt NeNe jump in my arms and tried to soothe her as best as I could.
Renata nodded. “I leave in three weeks.”
“When did you decide this?”
“When I realized I can’t take this shit no more. Ain’t nothing around here. I ain’t like you. I don’t have a skill that can get me a scholarship nowhere, and definitely not to no place like fucking Blakewood. Them casino jobs are too shaky. My momma got laid off from Trop and went to Borgata just to get laid off and go to Caesars. That’s some bullshit shuffling them casinos be doing. I ‘on’t want that. Momma saying it’s too many of us in her trailer, and she right. She only got three bedrooms with nine of us living there.” For the first time, Renata shrugged, not knowing what more to say. “I ain’t got no