the row for the aisle. This area was packed. I’d never been in a venue like this and couldn’t believe how close to the stage I was. I mean, if I was crazy, I could run up and jump onto the stage before anyone stopped me. I threw an air combo jab, thinking maybe one day I’d be fighting in a place this size.
That’s when my confidence will be on a thousand, like Ne-Yo’s just a few minutes ago…
My eyes rolled over to the seat to the right of me. No one had claimed it. Who bought seats this close to the stage at a Brielle concert and didn’t show? That was dumb. I wished Samantha had the money for a ticket. She could have come with me. I was hyped about getting dressed up in fancy clothes, but now that I was here, it felt lonely. I somehow found myself looking down at my clothes. Again, I didn’t recognize myself. My thighs were out, making me self-conscious. Ashton had picked out everything. A few guys whistled, gawked like crazy, or tried to holler while I found my way to my seat inside. It made me question my decision to wear the mini cheerleader-style skirt.
I wondered what Aivery wore tonight. Even if she decided on something sexy—which she likely did—at least she had Ashton to protect her. I had no one. Ashton may have shelled out the cash so I could have the same experience, but I was still alone. All dressed up and pretty for nobody to see me.
I said I wouldn’t, but did it anyway. I turned around and looked up high in the balcony seats. I was sure the suite they’d gotten was up there. Then again, I wasn’t. I’d never been to a concert in a big place like this before. I bet they were up there having fun.
Turning back in my seat, my mood went south. It made me realize I was doing this all wrong with Ashton. We weren’t even friends. We were…cool. But cool didn’t involve going down on a guy. A guy with a girlfriend. I was so wrong for that. So wrong. Ashton may have been an okay guy, but he had a girlfriend. The reminder made my stomach queasy. It happened each time I thought about it. What I hated most was that tiny feeling of connecting to a small part of him that didn’t belong to Aivery. It was wild and wrong, but something I couldn’t lie to myself about. I was wrong. Just not wrong about that being true.
The lights lowering had my head snapping up. Everyone around me was out of their seats and screaming. A heavy beat dropped, then the ones on the stage lit up. After her dancers came tumbling out, the two girls who left their seats earlier were jogging back into the aisle. The seat next to me remained empty. I stood after they passed me, not wanting to miss a moment of the show. Brielle’s vocals for “Lifted,” a song I didn’t like as much until hearing her perform it live, could be heard before she was seen. The crowd went wilder when she strutted out of a dark no-place to the front of the stage.
My heart dropped at seeing her in the flesh. The big hair, tiny coochie shorts, belly shirt, and high ass heels outfit confirmed it was her. She struck a Naomi Campbell pose while the crowd went crazy. My eyes were so big, and I could feel the smile splitting my goofy face. This was it. It was her.
Brielle…
My life had been made. She was…fucking beautiful! And her smile when she finally got tired of all the deafening noise of the place, it was…real. Television or a camera couldn’t edit it. It was pretty. She sang another note, and from that second on, I fell under a spell. This was a young Black girl like me—well, not like me because Brielle’s parents had money—who was living her dream. And she was legit talented. That awakened something in me.
While watching her perform song after song, seeing someone who looked like me made me feel good about my decision to come to BSU. It reminded me that my being here was for a reason. It was a step toward the goal. As I danced and sang as best as I could with her, I remembered my dream of wanting to be the next Laila Ali. Stronger. Faster. Better. And not