my girlfriend. I’ve always known what I wanted in life. When I saw I could have it in Aivery, I locked it down.”
“Monogamy isn’t natural, and it damn sure ain’t fair for a young man your age. I know what you like: I taught you most of it. Those are things she could never fulfill.”
I laughed off her dig. NormaJean was willing to battle “Monogamy isn’t all that bad. I’ve been doing it.”
“Until recently.” She bit her lips at that sharp estimation.
With pouted lips, I gave a neck bow. “So let’s explore that. What if there’s no sex in the equation? What if it’s purely discovering another person’s mind? Exploring it, wanting to overdose on it?” I licked my lips, thinking about Tori’s mouth wrapped around the root of my dick. “Exploit it a little? What if it’s mental and possibly emotional?” My eyes returned to her. “Is that infatuation?”
Her darkly lined eyes grew in size and cheeks spread. “That shit sounds real to me,” her tone warning.
I let out a breath, picking up my glass. “Yeah. That’s the scary part.”
“Who is she?”
“Iiiiii don’t want to say. If I put a name on it, I’ll make it a thing.”
“Well, you’ve already made it a thing, because I know you’re not talking about Aivery.”
I shook my head, being honest. “No. I’m not talking about Aivery.”
“Well, whoever it is, I don’t think you should stress over or try to define it so soon. Why rush?”
My eyes grew wide, computing that question. “Because it’s that fuckin’ intense.” I wanted her. Bad. So bad my fucking sac swelled at the thought of her. “And I need to figure out what it is—like how serious it is—because it’ll help me not fuck it up. And not fuck up in general.”
“Not fuck up what in general? Aivery?” She scoffed. “I think that horse is out the stable.”
“I don’t know. I think it’s easy for anyone, including me, to dismiss what Aivery and I have because of her…pretentious tendencies. But I know my girl. I know her heart. She does have one. She just doesn’t have the emotional capacity to be mature about certain things and people. And the fact that I can sense that, makes this other thing a thing.” I grab my head absorbing that revelation.
“What? You’re confusing me.” I feel her soft, warm hand cover mine from across the table. “Because of this girl? The infatuation?”
“Yeah.” I lifted my heavy head. The wine had the best of me; I was vomiting my emotions that were fucking ridiculous. “She’s another—a bigger—one. You have to extrapolate her words against her delivery…draw inferences created in her mind to coexist with her. I have to decipher her moods. But her heart seems so clear, so glaringly patent…to me. And I think…” I shake my head. “I don’t know.”
“No. Go ahead.” She rubbed my hand encouragingly.
“No. It’s just that I don’t know shit about how she was raised but can tell something fucked up happened. She’s not been taught how to express her feelings. Hasn’t been taught how to groom herself, how to honor and polish her femininity. Shit, she barely knows how to communicate gratitude or anything other than telling someone to fuck off.”
“And goes oh, so against your toplofty, polished nature.” NormaJean surmised. “Is that the reason you haven’t fucked her yet?”
My eyes shot up at her, lungs hiccupped. “It could be.” I sat back in my seat. “Could also be that I don’t want to.”
She snorted into her flute. “Don’t want to? Since when don’t you—is there something going on?”
“No.” My eyes closed as I laughed. “I would love to. It’s just that I can’t because I feel that whatever it is that keeps her from being a…normal girl would destroy her if I were to fuck her, and I told her that.”
“Look at you, looking out for the weak.”
“Nope.” I shook my head, eyes cast somewhere on the table. “Tori ain’t weak.” That was more of a reminder to myself.
“Oh!” She trilled. “The Tori girl whose name sounds like a guy.”
I nodded, lips pursed. “The one and only.” I murmured, “Her.”
“Now, I’m concerned.” My face folded at that. “You arranging dinner for her in your apartment, struggling with cheating on princess Aivery.” NormaJean propped her chin on her fist, lips pouted as she pretended to think. “Maybe I have some competition.”
“Oh, knock it the hell off!” I groaned. We both laughed at that. “Try sounding convincing next time.”
NormaJean’s laughter was melodious and breathy. My attention