it, that some day the truth would explode, potentially destroying the happiness she’d fought so hard to achieve. She also knew that one day she would have to pay for Mabel. She just never imagined the price would be the child herself.
She puts on her winter coat and boots, then grabs her keys and leaves the flat. Thankfully, it’s too early for the media, and apart from the ribbons tied around every front gate and tree trunk, the street looks its normal, quiet self.
Walking along the icy pavement in the footsteps of the abductor, Amber imagines holding Mabel just as they did, tucked inside their coat. She can sense the weight and warmth of her daughter now, pressed against her chest. Mabel snuggles down against the cold, her little heart beating furiously.
Who carried her away that night? George still thinks it was Lewis. He hasn’t bought the key-in-the-door story, even though Amber can corroborate it, and when he finds out that Lewis is Mabel’s biological father, he’ll have no doubt at all. The police still seem to think Lewis and Ruby are guilty, although they can’t prove it yet. Amber has to admit, it does make a grim, logical sense, but she refuses to believe it because it would mean that Mabel is dead.
Besides, Lewis didn’t know he was definitely the father until the police confirmed it a couple of days ago. Amber didn’t know either, not for sure. Of course, she had a suspicion – a strong suspicion – but she didn’t share it with Lewis. They’ve avoided each other since that night and not spoken at all privately. When Mabel was born, Amber was grateful to him for showing no interest, for making excuses not to babysit, for standing as far away from Mabel as possible for the family photo. When the picture arrived as her mother’s Christmas card, Amber instantly spotted that father and daughter had the same heart-shaped face. She tore the card up, telling George the photo made her look fat. But if Mabel is returned, who knows what new similarities will reveal themselves as she grows up?
Ruby is right. George needs to know, although Amber doesn’t appreciate the threats. Did Lewis confess, or did the police tell her?
Amber walks past the rows of Edwardian terraces, which look identical in the darkness, turning left, then right, then back the way she came, lost in a maze of her own thoughts. She cannot keep the fantasy that she’s carrying Mabel alive. Her arms are empty; it’s only her own heart that she can feel beating. As she meanders through the ghostly grid of streets, the memories of that night with Lewis walk by her side, pulling at her coat for attention.
It all started with Amber and George having a bust-up – they happened very rarely but when they did, they were huge. This time it was about making a baby, or trying to. They still hadn’t conceived and Amber dared to suggest, very gently, that they see a doctor together. George took huge offence, claiming it was Amber’s anxiety that was preventing her getting pregnant, not any lack of virility on his part.
‘All I’m saying is we get some tests,’ she said. ‘Then at least we’ll know if there’s a medical reason.’
‘I don’t need a test,’ he retorted. ‘I know there’s nothing wrong with me.’
‘How?’ she pressed. ‘How do you know?’
His face darkened. ‘I just do, that’s all.’
‘Oh! So how many babies have you fathered to date then?’ she said sarcastically. ‘Please tell me, I’d be very interested to know.’
He rounded on her then. ‘What about that time you got pregnant when we were seventeen, remember?’
Of course she remembered; it had been a scary time for both of them. ‘We never knew for sure I was pregnant,’ she reminded him. ‘I think it was probably just a late period.’
‘That’s not how you reacted at the time. You told me you’d had a miscarriage. You made a great song-and-dance about it.’
‘I panicked. I didn’t want a baby back then – we were too young.’
‘But you want one now and don’t care what you have to do get it,’ he riposted, the tone of his voice venomous. The conversation developed into a bitter shouting match. She packed an overnight bag, flounced out of the flat and caught a cab to Ruby’s place. It was the first time she’d done such a thing, and she was so angry and upset she didn’t think to call ahead. Usually she preferred