competitive, but I decide if our second is a girl that we should try for one more. I want Goliath to have a son since Shane, River, and Hugh got one.
“My man needs what other people have,” I tell my mom, who nods as if I’m not nuts.
Baby number two is a boy, and he’s a big one. The doctor doesn’t think even an extra pounding from Goliath will create enough of an exit path for our son. Since a C-section is on the menu, I decide to get my tubes tied too.
We use an old-fashioned technique to choose our boy’s name. Basically, we foist the decision onto little Kirby. I put the two possible names in envelopes and leave them with her toys. Whichever one she picks up will be the name of her baby brother.
“Caen means warrior,” I tell Shane.
“Why must you spell it that way?”
“Cane is too candylike. Kane is a wrestler’s name. Cain feels too biblical and murder-y.”
“Well, as long as you have a good reason.”
“He’ll be as loved as my baby bruv,” I tell Shane, who stops frowning and just basks in his big sister’s adoration.
I expect Goliath to be calmer over the birth of his second child, but he’s nervous about my surgery. He can’t sleep the night before and barely speaks as we get prepped.
“Do you remember how it felt when you held Kirby the first time?” I whisper as he sits hunched over in the operating room.
“I remember the first time I really held you. I also remember the first time I knew I loved you. And the first time I realized how my life wouldn’t mean shit without you.”
“Do you remember the first night I slept over?” I ask, ignoring the darkness behind his words. “We watched those shows about the end of the world, and you rested your head in my lap. I was so excited to spend the night with you, even if I was scared to sleep in the woods.”
“You didn’t seem scared,” he mutters, seeming as pissy now as he did during those first few booty calls. “You slept like a fucking log.”
“Knowing you were nearby made me feel safe,” I whisper, and his gray eyes hold my gaze. “Just like it does now.”
Goliath leans closer. His large build blocks the bright operating room light, shading my face until I only see him. There’s no denying how terrified he feels. There’s nothing rational about that kind of fear. Then he hides the emotion behind a sulky frown.
“I love you,” he mumbles in his growly voice. “I should have loved you better right from the beginning, but I didn’t know how. But I did love you.”
“I know, baby,” I say, getting teary-eyed. “You just needed to feel safe, and I hope you always will with me.”
Goliath doesn’t look away until our baby lets out a slightly bored-sounding cry. My man seems torn between wanting to keep an eye on Caen and needing to be sure I’m okay.
“He’ll be fine,” I murmur and lure his gaze back to mine. “I’ll have to share you soon. For right now, just see me.”
Goliath gives me a little grin. His rough fingers feel so soft against my cheek. I’m not afraid of anything right now. No monsters exist in the world. Life is an endless rainbow with pots full of gold along the way.
With this man looking at me full of love, I swear nothing ugly will ever touch us again.
YOMP, ONE LAST WORD FROM THE GOLIATH
Five years felt like an eternity in prison. Time wasted sitting in a cage, around men I didn’t want to know. Five years with Shelby flies by, though. Too fast, almost, and I wish I could hold on tighter to our days together. But that’s not how life works.
Our house in the woods never stops impressing me. I still find myself ducking on occasion or flinching when I stretch. I forget how roomy everything is in our cabin-style home. I gotta work real hard to knock into anything.
Shelby even organized the furniture in a way that keeps me from having to squeeze past chairs or couches. She wants me to feel comfortable like I do when I’m outside. My happiness is her priority. Feels kinda weird sometimes when I realize how much my woman loves me. I oughta expect that by now. Nomp, I’ll need more than five years to get used to loving like Shelby loves.
We make two seriously beautiful kids. Kirby looks like Shelby.