Desk, bed, and three bookshelves.”
“That’s it?”
I nod.
“Clothes on the floor?”
I almost grimace at the thought.
“So, you’re neat?”
“I’m… organized. Plus, I spend a lot of time in there, so…”
“So…” she responds, and the elephant in the room hangs in the air between us.
What exactly am I doing here?
I take a second, looking around the room again, while I scratch at my jaw with the backs of my knuckles. That’s when I notice the blank space between a myriad of pictures—the water tower.
I heave out a breath, my head falling between my shoulders. “What happened last year? When we were out on your porch… you kissed me.”
“No,” she says. “You kissed me.
I bite back my scoff and face her. “You kissed me back, Mia. You can’t deny that.”
She looks down at her lap.
“And then you left, and you didn’t just leave me, but you left that picture, and you told me—”
“I know what I told you,” she interrupts.
I sigh, so fucking close to giving up. “Then let me say it out loud.”
Her throat moves with her swallow.
“You told me you loved me.” Silence stretches between us, and I’ve never hated the sound more than I do now. I ask, because I need to know, “How long have you and your boyfriend been together?”
Her breath catches, and every single one of her muscles seems to lock up. Her gaze lifts, locks on mine. “Almost a year.”
“So, like, right after you left?”
“Yes.”
My entire body slumps, as if any life inside me has left, and I’m nothing but flesh and bone. I wish I were anywhere else, but I’m here, and I need to know if this fight is futile. I need information, and I only have one source. “How did you meet?”
“He was one of the interns I told you about.” There’s no lilt in her tone. No excitement at speaking about him. There’s nothing.
“So, he’s in college?”
“Yes. NYU.”
I nod, my jaw working as my eyes drift shut. I keep them closed. Seconds, minutes, hours. There’s a war brewing in my head, in my heart, and when I open my eyes again, I focus on hers. I suck in a breath. “Is he good to you?”
She looks anywhere but at me, and I know she can hear it—the pain in my voice.
“Like, does he treat you well? Is he kind? Respectful?”
Eyes coated in sadness and covered with heartache, she nods once.
And even though I really, really don’t want to know, I have to ask, “Does he love you?”
Her reply is instant. “Yes.”
“Do you love him?”
Her silence gives me all the answers I need.
She loves him.
And she loved me.
I fiddle with the clasp of my bracelet, unable to look at her. “I just spoke to Lucas. He’s pretty busy right now with work and taking care of Laney, so he can’t get off until next weekend. It should give me enough time to finish off the barn and then—”
“You’re leaving?”
My pent-up exhale is ragged, and against all better judgment, my eyes gravitate to hers again. The remnants of her tears leave a trail down her cheek, and I don’t know why she’s crying. “It’s too fucking hard being here with you, Mia. I just… I can’t take this shit anymore.” Mia and I—we’re teetering on the edge, tiptoeing a tightrope, and there’s only one harness. One of us is going to fall, crash-land, and shatter to pieces. And the other’s going to walk away unharmed.
I’d take the hit.
Again and again.
As long as she walks away happy.
But something has to give.
I get up, done with the conversation, and head for the door.
“Leo, wait.”
I turn to her.
“I told him about you just now… about you staying here.”
“And?”
“And…” She hesitates. “He’s flying in to see me.”
My fists ball. “When?”
“Tomorrow.”
I slam the door between us, my pulse racing, that anger and rage building and building, just like the old me—the one who carried too much hate in my heart. But it’s worse now because I don’t have anywhere to direct that hate.
It’s impossible to hate her.
Because she was wrong.
So fucking wrong.
I can see love.
And I see it every time I look at her.
Chapter Forty-Two
Mia
Leo’s awake, and he’s moving around, and I don’t want to get out of bed. I don’t want to see him, because I don’t know what version of him will greet me.
Last night, when I told Drake that Leo was here and that he’d been here the whole time, he went silent. All I heard at his end was the clicking of keys on a keyboard,