you feel.”
My phone goes off with a text just as I let her words sink in.
Unknown: Hey.
Leo: Who’s this?
Unknown: Holden. I got your number from Papa John.
My eyes narrow.
Leo: What’s up? Is everything okay?
Unknown: Yes. No. I don’t know. Is it weird that I’m freaking out about Mia going on a date with that Brent guy tonight?
Chapter Thirty
Mia
Well. It’s official. Dating sucks. Or maybe I suck at dating.
“I had fun tonight,” Brent Silva says as we near my house. He has his hand on my lap. Not actively touching my bare thigh, more just resting on it. It makes me uncomfortable, which is weird, because I’ve held hands with him most of the night—the first step, according to Holden. The second is letting him kiss me, which he hasn’t tried to do yet. “Mia?” he questions, and I’d momentarily forgotten what he’s said.
He had fun tonight? Really? I can’t have been too much fun to be around. I barely spoke, so he had to fill in all the silence with mundane conversation. Like what days he works, what times, and what his jobs are during those times. Brent’s nineteen and lives with his parents. His mom has an in-home daycare, and his dad works all over the country, laying pipes. He doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life or if he’s staying in town, and I admire that about him. Admire is probably the wrong word. Envy? The fact that he even has a choice makes me jealous.
It occurred to me halfway through the date that Brent knew I’d be going back to New York, and he still wanted to take me out, so I’m not too sure what he’s expecting by the end of it. If it’s sex—a one-night stand—I kind of feel bad that he’s wasted all that time on calls with me and all that money on dinner. I should offer to pay him back. That seems like the right, reasonable thing to do.
We’re in my driveway now, and he’s got his truck in park, but the engine’s still running. His back’s against the door, and he’s watching me, smiling. “I take it you didn’t have the same experience I did?” Because he had fun, and I… I…
I spent the entire night thinking about Leo Preston.
“Look,” he says, and his smile only gets wider. “I know you were nervous. It was your first date, right?”
I purse my lips, nod.
“That’s hard to believe.” His eyes momentarily drop to my chest. “But I’ll believe it because it’s coming from you. How did I do?”
“You did… great.” And it’s not a lie. All things considered, he basically went on a date with himself, but he never made me feel ignored. “I’m sorry,” I add. Because I am. “My head’s just… it’s not in the right place, and I think maybe I forced myself to come because—”
“Because I wouldn’t stop pushing you?” he interjects.
“No,” I laugh out. “Because I figured it would be a good experience.” I take his hand in mine. “And it was. I just don’t really know where to go from here.”
“Well, normally,” he says, and then he’s lifting my hand, kissing the back of it. “I walk you to your door, we say goodnight, and then I call you tomorrow and see if you want to do it again.”
“Would you want to do it again?” I ask incredulously.
Brent doesn’t answer. Instead, he releases my hand, gets out of the truck, and I wait for him to open my door. He helps me out, his hand around mine, and he keeps it that way all the way to the front door. The porch light is on, which isn’t a surprise. Papa always leaves it on when he’s waiting for me to return. Standing in front of the door, I turn to Brent. “I’ll call you,” he says, linking our fingers together. He reaches up, shifts a strand of hair behind my ear. His hand stays there, his palm on my jaw as he moves in, his eyes drifting shut, and his mouth coming closer and closer—“Good date?” Leo says from his spot on the porch swing.
I gasp at the same time Brent groans, his head lowered in defeat as he looks over at Leo. “Hey, man.”
“I thought you weren’t coming back until tomorrow?” That was me, my voice barely audible. Why do I feel like… like I’ve cheated somehow?
Because I have.
Even if no one else knows it, my heart does.
Leo shrugs, but he doesn’t verbally