has an aunt and uncles and a little cousin he doesn’t know about, right? I heard you call him Leo rather than his dad, so I assume he doesn’t know.”
I nod. “We’re waiting to tell him until…” Every word I speak seems useless, pathetic when it comes from me.
“Until what?”
I look at the man beside me. Really, truly look at him. And I no longer see my grandpa. I see Benny’s. “Until I’m ready.” I choke on the response.
“Well, when is that going to be? Another four years?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know,” I tell him truthfully.
Mr. Preston’s chest rises with his inhale, and he looks from me to the parking lot. The silence stretches between us, neither saying a word. He breaks the quiet, shifting just enough to make the bench beneath us creak under his weight. “It’s going to be Halloween in two weeks.” I watch as he stands to full height, my heart thumping in my ribs, in my eardrums, making it hard to hear what he says next. “I expect to see you and my grandson there.” He sniffs, rubbing at his red, raw eyes—eyes filled with emotions too confusing to decipher. “Tell Leo he needs to come home next week and tell his siblings. Benny doesn’t need to know Leo’s his father, but Leo’s siblings have a right to know they have a nephew.” He pauses a beat. “I’ll see you in two weeks,” he says, and then he’s turning on his heels and walking toward his truck.
I don’t know how long I sit there, waiting for the tears to stop, for the ugliness to fade. Just as I’m about to get up, I hear, “Mama!”
Turning, I see Leo and Benny walking toward me. Benny’s smiling from ear-to-ear, and Leo’s watching me, his eyes thinned. “You okay?” he mouths, and I nod.
I’m not okay.
But I will be.
Because the little boy stopping in front of me, his eyes as bright as the constant smile he carries, is
My reason.
My purpose.
My Everything.
Chapter Seventy-Seven
Leo
“Okay, are you all tucked in?” Mia asks.
Benny rolls his eyes—a move he definitely gets from his mother. “Yes, Mama.”
“You got everything you need?” Mia looks around the tent. “Your water bottle’s on the table, and your flashlight is right beside your head.”
“Mama! No girls allowed,” Benny says through a giggle.
“Yeah, little mama,” I say, squeezing her thigh from my spot in my sleeping bag. “No girls!” I poke out my tongue when she glares at me. “I’m right here,” I laugh out. “He’ll be fine. You’re literally in the next room.”
She quickly turns to Benny, knocking his full water bottle off the table and dropping it right in my goddamn eye socket. “Motherf—” I spit, cutting off when Mia gasps. I press the heel of my palm to my eye, attempting to ease the pain.
“Mother what?” Benny asks, sitting up to look between Mia and me.
“Nothing,” Mia’s quick to respond, her eyes thinned, shooting daggers at me.
“Mother what?” Benny asks again.
“Nothing,” I say, opening my eye to nothing but black spots. “Dang, that hurt.”
Mia picks up the water bottle and places it back on the table. “I’m sure it didn’t hurt that much,” Mia teases.
I grab her waist and pull her on top of me, her back to my chest, my fingers quick to pinch at her sides, making her squeal. “Get off!” She manages to get out between fits of laughter.
“Tickle her until she wees!” Benny giggles, his little fist raised in the air, egging me on.
“Whatever you say, bud,” I mumble, trying to hold down Mia’s arms so she doesn’t junk-shot me like she did the last time.
“Ohhh! I know what you were going to say!” Benny shouts. “Motherrrr….” He pauses, giving us the infamous Cheeky Benny side-eye. I stop tickling Mia instantly, and we both turn to Benny, waiting, ready to stop him. He smiles to one side, right before he says, “Mother lover.”
Mia and I let out simultaneous exhales of relief.
“Because you love Mama, right?”
Mia opens her mouth to speak, but I sit up, taking her with me, basically forcing her to sit on my lap. I wrap my arms around her waist and kiss her cheek. Then I lock my eyes on Benny. “I do,” I tell him. “Very much.” Mia turns her head toward me, but I keep my gaze on our son. “Is that okay with you—that I love your mama?”
Benny nods, flopping back down to a lying position. “Yep,” he says, grabbing the flashlight. He flicks