this morning. She didn’t want to say, but… she said she overheard your brothers talking and… that’s all she said.”
My eyes snap open. “Jesus Christ, not again.”
“That’s not all,” he mutters, and I look at him, my eyes pleading for… something. Because I don’t know if I want to hear what he says next, but I know that I have to. “After he took them up to their room, Holden came to get me, because I… I had my phone on silent. I shouldn’t have. When we got back there… she was… was—” He stops there, trying to settle his breathing. “She was on the bathroom floor, next to the toilet, with her fingers down her throat.”
“No…” It’s all I can think. No. No. NO!
“Benny was there, Leo. He was in that room, virtually alone, and he was crying and...” Joseph sniffs back his tears, the same way I do. “I don’t know where to go from here, but I’ve booked a private plane back to New York, and her therapist is going to meet us at the condo.”
“I didn’t know,” I say pathetically, but I don’t want this man to think that I would ever, ever, knowingly let this happen. Not again.
“She needs to take care of herself. For Benny. And I don’t know how long it’s going to take or what she needs to do, but…”
Turning to face him, I choke on my words. “I can’t lose her again.”
A ragged breath falls from his lips. “Neither can I, man.” He clears his throat before facing me. “Look, Leo. As far as my hopes for who Benny’s dad was—I couldn’t have asked for a better man. You stepped up, and that’s something far greater than I ever did. And I see how much Benny means to you, and more, I see how happy you make Mia. She may be twenty-two, but I’ve never had a little girl, not really, and so that’s how I see her.”
The door to the courtyard opens, and Holden appears with Benny sitting on his shoulders. “Valet’s just brought the car up,” Holden says, ignoring my presence.
“I’ll be there in a minute,” Joseph tells him.
Holden leaves without another word, and I stare at the fountain, knowing I’m teetering on the edge of forever or never. “What’s going to happen to Benny? Can I still see him?”
“Of course,” Joseph’s quick to respond, and my tear-soaked eyes widen. “Mia’s made it absolutely clear that she will not take that away from either of you. I want to stay close to her, so I’ll be in New York. I think Tammy might bring him down in a couple of weeks if he’s up for it.”
He stands, shoving his hands deep in his pockets. “I have to go.”
“Can I talk to her, just to… I don’t know.”
“Yeah.” He motions for me to follow, and so I get up, leave my battered heart on the ground by my feet and let him lead me toward his car waiting in the valet. Mia’s standing by the back door, getting Benny settled in his seat. “Mia,” Joseph calls, and Mia turns, her eyes instantly meeting mine.
I am breathless.
Motionless.
I’m everything I shouldn’t be in this moment. She stares at me, hoping for something, anything. And the only thing I can give her is: “I’m sorry.”
Her eyes widen, just a tad, before she steps forward and takes my hand. Her touch is like oxygen, like fire to alcohol, igniting me, bringing me back to life. And then she’s in my arms, or I’m in hers, and it’s
everything,
everything,
everything.
Chapter Eighty-Three
Leo
“Shut the fuck up!” It’s the first thing I say the moment I enter the house. Only I don’t say it, I shout it. As soon as the door opened, they all pounced, trying to talk or apologize or take away from the destruction they caused with whatever the fuck it is they said last night. “I don’t want to hear a fucking word!”
“Are you going to let us explain?” Lucas yells.
My fists ball. What I wouldn’t give to punch him. Just once. “What the fuck is there to explain?”
His mouth opens, and a strangled sound erupts, but no words. Nothing.
“There’s not a goddamn thing you could say to make any of this okay!”
Laney winces at the loudness of my voice, the harshness of my words. I don’t care.
“What the hell is wrong with you?!” I yell, looking around at my brothers. “This isn’t a fucking joke! This is my life. Benny’s my son, and Mia—” I